"How much wine did you drink?!" "Like 5 episodes-worth of Fixer Upper"

Now taking recommendations on the best noise canceling headphones! Tell me what I need to know.

I hate men that is all. Send tweet

I had a protein shake and 5 chocolate chip cookies for breakfast, in case you’re wondering how my life is going.

There’s a special place in hell for meter maids who write parking tickets at 8:02

Me at home: Vows to lose 5 pounds before my best friends wedding so my bridesmaids dress isn’t uncomfortably tight Me the next day at work: eats 4 chocolate chip cookies at 10am

Being a millennial is carrying a strapless bra in your purse during peak wedding season and not even caring when it accidentally falls out at the Trader Joe’s checkout.

I was running through the park last night and saw 2 girls sitting by the fountain taking selfies using SCOOTER LIGHTS to illuminate their faces. Like 4 bird scooters used as stage lighting.

SOS am I hungry or am I just bored.

The biggest mystery of my 20s is still figuring out how to become a morning person.

Like. Respect me enough to tell me that you’re not interested.

Nothing is worse than knowing you’re the victim of a slow-fade but the guy still lies and says he’s “busy”

I need a new Netflix/Hulu binge since I just finished Stranger Things for like the 3rd time. Any suggestions?!

I mean I appreciate the honesty I guess?

“I’m not sure I can ever love you, but you’re one of my best friends. I can’t lose that.” - my (now) ex boyfriend. #WTF

Which color Apple Watch should I get? I can’t decide!

I can’t go to work because I don’t want to.