HolyGod

Got bored of Covid-19 today so I just created Covid-20.

I bestow the gift of My holy publicity on amsterdamfacemasks.com. #coronamaatregelen

Just created a new species of spider. You're welcome Australia!

Auditing dead souls.

You’re welcome @LFC

Bored. Contemplating creating a new disease. Modern day scurvy, perhaps.

Ok guys, not owning slaves should have made it to the Ten Commandments, but I really wanted to get not coveting neighbour's wife in too.

Which religion is sillier - Mormonism or Buddhism?

Partial to-do-list: 1) Cause storm in Pacific 2) Create new species of Beetle 3) Strike Trump with a thunderbolt... Not enough time, alas.

Pop is My least favourite form of music because they write very few songs about Me... that's why they all die so young.

#unitedAIRLINES And on the eight day I created United Airlines. As a punishment for all the shit you guys do during the week.

If I asked you to sacrifice your child for Me, would you?

If I had meant for everybody to be healthy I would have made you all surgeons. Universal healthcare is a communist sin. Love Jesus.

When you take My name in vain it really gets Me down. I'm like, 'but I created puppies and all they do is curse My name.'

Thou shalt not kill (just a reminder, guys).

Auditing souls.

Let us pause for laughter: How 'bout those Puss Moth Caterpillars I created! RIght? Right?

In the mood for a Hail Mary or a Pater Noster. First 100 people praying receive immediate absolution for their sins today!!! Great offer.

Oh Myself! What was I thinking when I created the giant jumping spider? Seemed like a good idea at the time. Lol.

People, people relax. I have exonerated @realDonaldTrump from the Commandment about lying. #lyingtrump