Derek W. Lankinen

Real text I received after the mayor’s candidates debate: “Great, now I hate them all even more. “ 🤣🤣

People opening their food businesses and talking about going on vacation after 3 months Me on year 7:

Rope bondage? Sorry babe I’m from Thunder Bay we use ratchet straps.

I hate small talk, let’s do big talk, tell the group why your aunt’s kids live with their dad.

When 8 months ago you were bleeding to death in the middle of no where after being attacked and now you 3 pillows and a king size bed for a nappy nap after being a total menace all day.

“Doxxing people for what they say online is reprehensible and never should be allowed” *runs a Facebook business page for 3 weeks* “You know in certain situations people need to learn shame and everyone needs to know that they are dumb”

When my kid says trampoline and I reply with trambopoline and he doesn’t know what I’m saying

When I say “yea a little too Raph” and no one knows what I’m talking about …

Dang we really got Eddie Vedder being bought by a billionaire before GTA 6

When you’re convincing you friends to watch the first season of any tv show

#Decessus should be playing @steph_vacquer to the ring at #wm42 … make it happen @TripleH #wrestlemania

My wife: that’s @TheMattCardona … why are they calling him that?

If you protect a pedophile, you’re a bad person.

I miss the world when “protecting pedophiles” wasn’t an appropriate hill to die on

Did Woods just put out his smoke on JD’s back before a powerbomb? Only person I’ve ever seen do that was @RealKevinNash … was he homaging the Big Sexy One? @KliqThisPodcast #mondaynightraw #asknash

You’re forcing this as hard as @nickkroll unnecessarily forces songs into every episode of #bigmouth

Hey daddy whats being an adult like …