The new AI agents can talk to customer service representatives but only I can get the rep to say “ma’am you need to calm down”.

Spoke to several major CEO’s today to get a sense on the economy and each one said the exact same thing, which was to not call them on their cell phone again.

I spent $120 so my kids could make $60 at a lemonade stand. And they are keeping the $60. Call me Sam Altman.

Don’t invite me on an analyst bus tour and then get mad when I try to drive the bus.

They are going to send Bill Gross to Guantanamo

I kept telling everyone I could get them into the next investment round for the coolest space company and now everyone’s mad that we bought the company that makes that astronaut ice cream.

Using 100,000 tokens to ask Claude what the stock symbol is for 3M.

The good news is I’m getting a lot of inbound calls the bad news is they are all margin calls.

I literally thought this was Rodney Dangerfield. @Downtown

Belgium is going to wake up to 200% tariffs tomorrow morning.

At what oil price do we demand Iran re-close the Strait of Hormuz?

Starting to think my kid isn’t going to get a basketball scholarship,

False alarm. This was just me getting out of my car.

I’m a single issue voter and that issue is whoever gets a school named after Spirit Airlines.

Ok so the good news is the US now has a sovereign wealth fund. The bad news is its current allocation is 100% into Spirit Airlines.

Would be neat for us to have a foreign policy that didn’t cause us to have existential dread as we waited for Sunday futures to start trading at the end of every weekend.

Iran has not yet responded to my idea of dropping all their energy infrastructure into an MLP to take advantage of the tax benefits.

Local man tempts Gods, story at 11.