This isn't new, but I need a fun post to pin on my timeline until I come up with something better. (featuring a pale HUMON imitation of @RedusTheRiotAct 's Beth)

Some bastard monster spider(s) bit me several times while I was asleep, leaving nasty itchy welts. If spiders only bit in response to being smushed, like popular youtube video spiderologists would suggest, I should expect to see several squashed spiders in my bedding, yet I never do. The best part is finding one in your room that's been feeding on you consistently and seeing how goddamn big it's managed to get on the buffet. I go to bat for these little guys an awful lot. But it looks like only jumping spiders are my friends.

It's carwash time! @JohnGra44983266 demanded a chocolate carwash, and Embry shows up... then Embry gets into a sexy hose fight with the neighbor. (Extra layer of notation: I cannot claim credit for the second page joke.)

Personally, I want the designs to be off. I want them depicted to be uncanny unrelatable inhuman monsters. Petulant soulless immortal children with no sense of empathy, who unnerve you with their palpable malevolence. They giggle and fart while you suffer.