Spending the day explaining that you didn’t see the once-in-a-lifetime Northern Lights because you simply went to bed instead.

I love April in Britain. One minute you’re walking along in sunglasses contemplating getting an ice cream, the next you’re having your face battered to pieces by hail. I wonder what weather will be along next.

Microwaved tea is the best tea.

List of reasons to have a cup of tea: -You’ve received good news -You’ve received bad news -You’re thirsty -You’re tired -You’re cold -You’re under the weather -You’re bored -You need a break -To make up after an argument -Because someone else is having one -To be polite -Because you’re back from holiday -Because biscuits are dry -Because it’s a day ending in Y -Just because you want one and you don’t ever need a reason so actually just ignore this list

Fat, fluffy pancakes soaked in maple syrup? No thank you! I’m British. I will have thin pancakes, please. Preferably ripped and crumpled after being thrown about a bit, possibly by a child. And I will have some horrible sour lemon on those, please… artificial lemon, ideally, from a plastic bottle shaped like a real lemon. I want to enjoy these pancakes, but not enough to want them again for a whole year. Much appreciated.