Freelance clown.

Philadelphia, PA
Joined October 2014
Pinned for life
2
13
Trump getting indicted for paying off a porn star is like Hitler getting indicted for plagiarism. Did someone already say this? Am I Hitler in this analogy?
151
There is someone you know who is 🦇 💩crazy, extremely emphatically crazy pants and not everyone knows. Just wait. They went crazy on you. They will crazy again. Crazy can't hold in crazy for long.
3
115
Me and two lesbos mansplained gay sex to two straight dudes that were acting homoerotic. - me telling my wife about my set last night.
1
155
We r way too obsessed with presidents. Everyone be cool.
2
93
You don't lock the public bathroom door. I open the door. I'm not saying sorry. B*tch you gotta say sorry to me!! I didn't have to see all that. Also wash your hands.
2
122
Betty J Smithsonian retweeted
Nick Sirianni’s best quality is he isn’t afraid to be himself From his introductory press conference, to the flower analogy, to the celebrations on the sideline, Sirianni is always just himself and shows his emotions. It’s why he is in the Super Bowl
87
327
38
5,059
333,580
About to do a stand up set in Dallas. I will not mention the eagles. I will not mention the eagles. I will not mention the eagles. I will not mention the eagles. #gobirds
1
4
166
The host introduced me a Philly comic. Then he mispronounced my name. Then there was an eagles fan in the audience. 🦅❤️
3
86
I did stand up in Vegas. The headliner came up to me after explaining how surprised he was that I had a good set. Then he proceeded to share, unsolicited, his diet changes over the last year.
2
11
532
Real question: why do so many sportscasters no like us? Everyone easily hates the Eagles or undervalues us when we are good. Who has a theory. Is it because we got big wangs? #philly #noonelikesus #eagles #phillyphilly #Wtf
1
114
Big Ass Bitties: Shortest Month, Biggest Bits bettysmithsonian.com/catch-m… – at Philadelphia, PA
1
58
Porn Stash At Punch Line Philly bettysmithsonian.com/catch-m… – at Manhattan, NY
112
He thought it would be funny to walk like this??! It was. And it is. Long live funny walking wexler
After the Eagles clinched the #1 seed I thought it would be funny to walk through the city like this and boy was I wrong 🦅🦅🦅Go Birds🦅🦅🦅
1
5
421
The Gays of March: A Queer Comedy Show bettysmithsonian.com/catch-m… – at Manhattan, NY
55
Stop saying yummy. And tummy. And mommy and daddy. It's annoyyyy.
89
Case Comedy: A New Weekly Show bettysmithsonian.com/catch-m… – at Philadelphia, PA
My son, Elon Musk, was born with his butt in front.
181
1,802
87
40,817