You will always find me in the kitchen at parties

Joined February 2020
Cagey retweeted
This is killing me 😭😭😭
72
1,563
166
18,294
752,175
You don’t usually get to see all of him, but the tweaking is insane. I’ve seen homeless people in San Francisco twitch less.
The cocaine has done so much damage. And the donations keep rolling in to pay for he’s habit. 🤭
77
308
7
7,308
245,022
I mean, if this is the case, Newcastle might as well pump a billion in and in 2041-2042 be in the Championship for one season. Hardly a deterrent.
🚨 BREAKING: Manchester City are expected to face a HUGE points deduction that would guarantee relegation to the Championship, following guilty verdicts on the vast majority of their 115 financial charges. A further points deduction next season could keep City in the Championship for at least TWO seasons. Relegation to League Two is considered unlikely. [Daily Mail]
56
567
7
9,962
125,080
The TUV really are determined to drag Belfast back to the 1980s. Ron McDowell, the fella who shared an AI-enhanced image exaggerating the crowd at a Drumcree rally, is now floating the idea of a week of protests against the Fleadh Cheoil na hÉireann. We’re talking about one of the biggest cultural events Belfast has ever hosted, attracting enormous crowds, generating millions for the local economy and showcasing the city to visitors from across the world. An event that benefits hotels, restaurants, pubs, shops and businesses across Belfast, regardless of religion or political background. And what does McDowell propose? Turning it into another sectarian battleground because of an entirely separate dispute at Drumcree. Jesus wept. Irish music, language and culture aren’t threats to unionism. Belfast belongs to everyone, Gone are the good old days Ron where unionism was able dictate what went on in Belfast. Imagine being an elected representative and contemplating disrupting an event bringing such enormous benefits to your own city simply to make a political point. This is precisely the mentality that held Belfast back for decades. The city is trying to move forward and was spectacular this summer, yet some in the TUV seem determined to keep fighting the cultural battles of the 1980s. The Fleadh is an opportunity to celebrate Belfast, not another excuse to divide it. Do better Ron
28
82
5
515
18,102
If you believe for one second that email was sent from a genuine Islamic group then you were just waiting for an excuse to be racist.
169
80
24
854
84,763
Elon should invent a car that releases the Epstein files.
367
5,101
171
48,182
353,933
I waited so long to use this video 😂😂
Leeds equalise through Calvert-Lewin, 1-1.
111
6,156
56
77,990
676,276
They didn’t disappoint. Pure savagery.
42
One more sleep.
2
2
119
Incredible how every time he tries to do something human he malfunctions
Mark Zuckerberg pretending to enjoy Guinness is my new favourite thing.
55
1,638
11
31,064
178,428
Hey @paddypower why don’t you make an amusing video about this ? 🤔
A gardener’s iPad showed she’d won £1.1 MILLION on a Paddy Power game. They paid her £20,265.14 and said the screen was wrong. Four and a half years later, a High Court judge ruled the screen was right. – Corrine Durber was a gardener from Gloucestershire, England. – In October 2020 she was playing a Paddy Power game called Wild Hatter on her iPad. It combines a fruit machine with a wheel-of-fortune bonus round. – She won the first stage, moved to the next level, and spun the jackpot wheel. – The screen showed the “Monster Jackpot” of £1,097,132.71. – She took a screenshot. – Paddy Power paid her £20,265.14, the amount for the smaller “Daily Jackpot,” and gave no explanation. – She complained to the company the same evening. – Paddy Power said a programming error had made the screen show the wrong prize. Its random number generator, it said, had only selected the Daily Jackpot. – Its terms and conditions said the generator’s result was final and that it wasn’t liable for system errors. – That was the whole problem. Paddy Power wrote the game, ran the software that picked the result, wrote the rules, and then decided which number counted when its own screen disagreed with its own system. – A prediction market doesn’t work that way. There’s no house writing the game or choosing the result afterward. – You trade against another person at a price someone actually agreed to, and your payout comes from the person on the other side, not from a company deciding the number on your screen was a mistake. – She sued for breach of contract. – In March 2025, Mr Justice Ritchie granted summary judgment in her favor, so there was no full trial. – His 62-page ruling found that human error in mapping the game’s software caused the on-screen result to differ from the generator’s. It affected 14 plays over 48 days. – The judge said customers expect the house to pay if they bet on number 13 and the ball lands on 13. – He found the terms unfair and unenforceable under the Consumer Rights Act 2015, and not part of her contract. – He also said it was unfair to place all the risk on the consumer for the company’s own errors, negligence, and inadequate testing. – She said the judge confirmed she had “fairly and squarely won £1 MILLION.” – She said Paddy Power had “tried their very best to deny me my rightful winnings.” – She said she would never bet with them again. A gardener hit £1.1 MILLION on her iPad, was paid £20,000 instead, and spent four and a half years in court proving the screen was right.
103
757
12
14,281
684,497
I have no idea where we go from here. Losing Jim Allister, Jamie Bryson and Carla Lockhart from the new Ireland conversation is devastating.
37
88
1
1,051
19,158
Cagey retweeted
This is why people have been showing their fans too much sympathy. "I feel sorry for the fans, they've done nothing wrong". Get to fuck, they've known it all along and they wear it almost as a badge of pride. They've not an ounce of shame and deserve what's coming down the line.
When you see Erling Haaland scoring and the City fans celebrating as if the club has been persecuted and not been found to be the biggest cheats in football history, you understand why everything that now happens - a continued product of the cheating - badly stains the league
3
53
1
608
22,656
172
3,991
266
45,158
1,696,438
Wins peace prize.. chooses violence 😂👌
Lmao…. Here’s Navi Pillay after winning the Nobel Peace Prize: "if you clap a little bit more I may share this prize with Trump" 🤣💀
68
Fantastic 😂😂
US President Trump has a meltdown after losing the Nobel Peace Prize to Indian-origin South African jurist Navi Pillay
34
Let's be honest. Bryson was defeated the moment he made a speech standing in front of a door as a table.
9
10
318
8,157
MOORE HOLMES, JON BURROWS, JAMIE BRYSON, CARLA LOCKHART, KING BILLY, JEFFREY DONALDSON, THAT WEE YOUNG ANNOYING CUNT I CAN'T REMEMBER THE NAME OF, IAN PAISLEY, PETER ROBINSON, JIM ALLISTER, ARLENE FOSTER, SAMMY WILSON YOUR BOYS TOOK ONE HELL OF A BEATING GIRUY 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
35
53
2
562
19,031
You heard it here first folks. If a united Ireland doesn't allow unionists to be sectarian, antagonistic, and supremacist towards their neighbours, then it is exclusionary towards unionists. This is a twisted, frankly bullshit idea of what rights and equality and inclusion are.
Today is the day that any concept of a “New Ireland” died. The lies, spin and promises. It was always nonsense, and that had been laid bare. I never want any discord. I want to build a brighter future for Northern Ireland - for all of us. I work to that every day. I believe every person in this place I serve sees that. When others, including the First Minister and her party, have behaved with utter recklessness and disregard for stability and our institutions, I believe in responsibility. I have always embraced those who are different from who I am, and endeavoured to show respect. I have witnessed the tradition I come from treated with such utter contempt and hatred. “Little room, Great Hatred” that is what I’ve seen. That is what we have all saw with our own eyes. I come from the Orange tradition. I am deeply proud of the warmth, compassion, depth and richness of that tradition. All of our traditions come from particular aspects or “sects”. By its very nature, they are “of “something and not “of” something else. They are exclusionary by the very nature of it pertaining to the particular tradition, beliefs or views of some, but it is not exclusionary by experience or engagement. Every religious order or community is exclusionary by doctrine, but not by outreach. We all deserve respect. That respect and tolerance threatens no one. It is hard to believe I have to explain the basics of this so many years after the principles of the Glorious Revolution and our human rights and civil rights frameworks, but here we are. I have been deeply, deeply offended by the way my traditions and culture have been described, treated and expressed. The behaviour, and jubilance tastelessly and appalling shown by some tonight only shines a light on their intolerance, hatred and ignorance. I will never be goaded into punishing the people of Northern Ireland for the reckless of Sinn Fein. But I am disgusted and furious of those who have played to their base and not for what is for everyone. In this election you have a choice - choose those who want Northern Ireland to work, and those who do all they can to make it so.
36
176
3
1,638
27,499