Britain has random 'Cake Sheds,' and all we got is some dude selling boiled peanuts? This is B**Sh**!

Overheard in a coffee shop...I'm not saying it will happen; I'm just saying, Hydroponically speaking, it could happen." #WeAreDoomed.

I was looking for a coffee roaster...not this one...I'm skipping this one based on the manufacturer's name alone. I feel like I have been warned.

People keep telling us this is an opportunity for a fresh start...I was perfectly happy with my old start. It had furniture...and cool stuff. #Watergate 2026

Europe vacation: 10/10. Food: 10/10. Wine: 10/10. Coming home to 50,000 gallons of water damage: 0/10. 9 damaged rooms. 3 humidors. Unlimited personal items. One ceiling that decided gravity was more of a suggestion. Would absolutely recommend Europe. Would not recommend the complimentary indoor swimming pool. Zero Stars. PSA: Turn off your water before leaving town.

I’m not even through security and I’ve already gone through my emergency Snickers bar. #ReweyAirportPhoto #AlwaysBlackAndWhite.

Heading home from Madrid. The suitcase is overweight. Wallet is underweight. Cholesterol is currently negotiating dual citizenship.

Last day in Madrid. I've eaten enough jamón to be considered a threat to the Spanish pork industry. I regret nothing.

If Ratoncito Pérez invites you to lunch...you go. #ThoseThatKnowKnow #Madrid

I don’t understand people who say, “I forgot to eat.” I’ve forgotten passwords and appointments. Lunch has never slipped my mind.

Apparently, Thursday I’m going to Iberian ham training. After decades of wandering aimlessly through life, I’ve finally found a subject where I feel academically gifted. Please respect me during this important educational journey.

Tracy: Did you sneak over to the Empanada place when you dropped off dry cleaning. Me:

I know Madrid just well enough to walk confidently in the wrong direction.

Time to leave Milan. #ReweyAirportPhoto #AlwaysBlackAndWhite #InternationalEdition.

Not a big fan of these water fountains next to toilets

A Milano train station selfie hits different. #ReweyTrainPhoto #AlwaysBlackAndWhite.

The robot lawnmower didn’t come home last night. At what point do I call the authorities, and at what point do they tell me I’m wasting police resources?

Every piece of technology eventually reaches the stage where turning it off and back on is considered advanced troubleshooting.

Zürich. Four days. There might also be some buildings around here for me to take pictures of.

Day three of infiltrating the young European cigar scene. They suspect nothing. Except possibly everything.