News from the battlefield. Parody account

Baton Rouge, LA
Joined February 2019
Dearest Mother— We are near completing our battalion. I have been occupied with paperwork, owing to the incompetence of certain ranking NCAA officers. Sorry I have not written you these past few months, but the rigors of duty have been unrelenting. Send us a cold front. GW
5
11
2
208
14,500
Top 5 Most College World Series Jello Shots at Rocco’s All-Time: 1) LSU - 68,888 2) LSU - 52,390 3) Tennessee - 38,799 4) Texas A&M - 32,762 5) Ole Miss - 18,777 Just the blue bloods.
52
79
24
1,163
195,756
GeneralWade retweeted
American Gangster.
“Will Wade knew what it was before the business got public,
now the same ones judging gotta scramble just to fund it” Drake shouts out Will Wade on his new album "Iceman" 👀
1
20
350
41,488
Dearest Mother— On this day of thanks for all you provided for me to become what I am today, I give you grace and love. To all the other mothers of the #bootup camp, thank you. Thank you for loving purple and living gold. We are now international from Italy to Japan. GW
2
58
2,365
Tiger Nation— The #bootup extends far and wide. Happy Easter from the Netherlands. He has risen. @Coach_WillWade @Lane_Kiffin GW
1
1
50
4,594
Tiger Nation— Within the hour we march to a new campaign. One once halted by timid command. Yet a new command rises, unshaken by echoes of old, to bind us as one and chase a glory LSU has ne’er claimed—to stand last after the madness. #bootup @Coach_WillWade @LSUBasketball GW
11
16
224
5,754
Fightin @LSUBasketball— Pledge your allegiance in the PMAC @ noon today. #bootup GW
4
4
116
3,743
Mighty @LSUBasketball— All we needed was a warrior. A man of the tigers, by the tigers, for the tigers. One who would boot up in the face of adversity. One who fears no foes and bleeds purple and gold. I stand before you ready for the march to madness. Geaux Tigers. GW
Make haste… The General has returned. We’ll see you Monday at the introductory press conference🎖️ ⏰ 12:00 p.m. CT 📍 PMAC 🚗 Parking available in Lot 108 (across from football ops) 🚪 Doors open at 11:00 a.m. Enter south ramps of the PMAC 🆓 t-shirts to first 1000 students
12
16
189
10,510
Dearest Mother- Much has changed since my last tenure as General of the Tiger Legion—though I suspect my men remember it more fondly than history ever shall. The people remain spirited, loud as cannon fire, & twice as proud. We press forward, determined, hopeful, reignited. GW
9
48
658
11,051
The General is Back. Lock in your ticket requests now 👇 🎟️ lsul.su/4bThY1e
23
55
3
641
31,639
y'all... the General is coming. 👀
18
343
50
1,770
Dearest Mother— The horses now rest in the Carolina stables. I march south to the river. In my recent stent, I’ve learned that wolves hunt in packs, not as tigers—who stalk silently through grass, patient till the prey is near. The flags of boot up fly again. #justdifferent GW
24
203
13
1,415
49,656
Dearest Mother— I’m coming home. Slaughter a pig, fill the pitchers, and let the band play neck. GW
48
494
29
3,101
162,344
Mother— I write with resolve: Colonel Frank Wilson is dismissed. Our ground game failed the line. I wish him fair winds and Godspeed as he treks toward Oxford. You always told me that without accountability there can be no growth. The staff is almost complete. @Lane_Kiffin
3
43
6,629
Mother- This morning marks a moment of great consequence for our regiment. Our quartermasters have ridden far & wide to muster the stoutest young warriors fit for the lines. Though we must part with a share of our stores to secure their service, they heed our battle cry. GK
2
5
86
6,557
Mother— At first light on this bitter winter morn, I beheld the mist rising from the Mississippi, much like the fervor of these Rebel sympathizers. My duties here keep me in constant counsel with officers as I labor to secure this powerful station in Baton Rouge. GK
3
93
5,958
Mother— The barracks of my new regiment are most orderly, adorned with trophies of their proudest triumphs. It is a remarkable sight to behold, these walls bearing witness to the valor. Though my defection has caused commotion, I trust that in time all shall be understood. GK
3
18
170
7,840
Dearest Mother— I have defected from the Rebel Legion. My holster at my side as I walked onto a plane to Death Valley. Many will ask why. At its core, my heart yearned for the roar of the crowd ever since that ill fated night when I lost to these tigers in 2024. GK
7
32
3
574
26,431