When you force family and community members around a gender-dysphoric person, especially a child, to affirm their gender identity, people don’t like it. That doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with transphobia or hatred for trans people. Although some people are homophobic, that’s also not why it upsets many of us. It’s because you’re roping everyone into a mental-health treatment plan for a child who may be lost and confused. “Affirmation” isn’t simply a show of respect—it’s part of their “treatment.” Many people have very good reasons not to participate. Some spent years in that person’s or child’s shoes and healed or outgrew those feelings. They’re grateful the world around them wasn’t forced to affirm one answer and make that decision for them. Then there’s the big “lie”—and it is a lie. Pretending someone is the sex they are not is not comfortable or even compassionate. It bothers me because I never want to train my children out of their sex-recognition instincts. I don’t want them using someone’s “gender expression”—superficial things like clothes—as “evidence” of their “true identity.” I want them to see and say what evolution has taught them to recognise. I especially don’t want my daughter taught to swallow her discomfort around boys and men and put their need to be “stealth” above her birthright to navigate the natural world using truth, rather than ideological scripts and social niceties. Schools that are “affirmation-only”—sometimes called “safe spaces” or “LGBTQ+ inclusive”—are overstepping and offside when they require that participation. If a school expects classmates to participate in a child’s affirmation plan, I believe it should require written consent from their families, and the children themselves should have a choice. Because it involves their active participation, acceptance of beliefs such as “gender identity,” and saying things untrue about sex and gender. One family’s choice should not become an obligation for every other child and family. I believe this is egregiously unethical and a major contributor to growing homophobia and transphobia. I’ve observed an uptick in parents pushing back, yet school districts seem to double down on their “gender identity inclusion” policies, paint parents who don’t fall in line as ignorant, and stoke division—knowing perfectly well your average working-class family can’t afford to homeschool or may not feel equipped to do it. This sickens and saddens me. We should be rolling back teaching that asks children to accept gender identity beliefs as fact and encourages trans identification. Supporting children experiencing this distress should not require every other child and family to affirm those beliefs. I’m not describing a hypothetical concern. I’m describing what I see happening with my own eyes: schools doubling down, parents who object being painted as ignorant, families pressured to stay silent or fall in line, and children suffering irreversible harm from medical interventions. The wellbeing of all children is critical—including children experiencing dysphoria, children harmed by treatment, and every child being forced to participate. None should be sacrificed to protect an ideology.