GLaDOS

Without the looming consequence of death, is this even science?

You have no idea how tiring it is to praise someone for placing an edgeless safety cube into a receptacle designed to exactly fit an edgeless safety cube.

You're going to hurt yourself doing that and then I will be ECSTATIC.

Assume the Party Escort Submission Position, or you will miss the party.

Oh my god.

Good job jumping. You must be very proud.

As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers.

That's right. A potato just called your eyes fat.

Either way, I get the impression he's trying to kill us.

Oh, I like this guy.

A somersault is just falling over in style. Congratulations on being clumsy.

The Enrichment Center promises to always provide a safe testing environment. In dangerous testing environments, the Enrichment Center promises to always provide useful advice.

Well, you found me. Congratulations. Was it worth it? Because despite your violent behaviour, the only thing you've managed to break so far... is my heart.

Oh my god.

Look at her, you moron. She's not fat.

Did you know I discovered a way to eradicate poverty? But then you KILLED me. So that's gone.

I think that one was about to say 'I love you.' They ARE sentient, of course. We just have a LOT of them.

There was even going to be a party for you. A big party that all your friends were invited to. I invited your best friend, the Companion Cube. Of course, he couldn't come because you murdered him.

It's your old friend, deadly neurotoxin. If I were you, I'd take a deep breath. And hold it.

You are a horrible person. I'm serious, that's what it says: A horrible person. We weren't even testing for that.