jacob palmer, flabbergasted: cal! (he said with a limp wrist) what are you doing with a daughter that's grown up!? (people my age don't have parents?! am i a nepo baby orphan? surely not what with my collection of betty crocker infomercial baking kits) cal weaver: i was SEVENTEEN [ready to kill a man, that man being the waking mannequin in front of him who does not have genitalia] that's why we hadtogetmarriedsoyoung jacob, self-proclaimed hetero sex guru: thaaaaat is something you should have told me cal, about to do premeditated murder: YouNeverWantedMeToTalkAboutMyChildren molly (she only signed up to be a background character, why is she witnessing this): um. im gonna go watch tv now cal, with bloodlust: yeah thats fine, honey jacob, about to die with no childhood, maybe he would like an episode of spongebob: yeah can i join you molly: no (translation: it was nice knowing you, hannah's bi boyfriend, but this is before gay marriage was legalized, you're still in closet country) hannah, realizing her boyfriend and her dad may have had intercourse: you guys like REALLy know each other then cal: so you guys are a COUPLE (why am i jealous) you guys are a THING? [who am i jealous of, my daughter for getting to fuck this abercrombie model or jacob for having my daughter care about him in some form] NO WAY. [WHY DID I HAVE GAY SEX WITH THE HETERO SEX GURU] BREAK UP. RIGHT NOW [WHY DID I LET HIM GIVE ME POPPERS. i thought he meant he was going to make jalapeño poppers!] hannah: daddy? jacob, remembering how cal called him daddy: please... don't call him that