FoxySmooth

Note to self: Facial hair and cosplay makes the AI think you're the villain of every fantasy novel ever written

no i can't have sex with you right now i have to play Hellraiser: Revival for the next few days

"that was years ago! i'm a different person now!" says the asshole trying to worm their way back into their old friend group after the new one dumped your ass cuz you haven't. changed. one. fucking. bit. posting about growth all the time doesn't mean you're actually growing🙄

i find myself putting cayenne pepper on just about every goddamn thing i eat now when did i become such a capsicumslut

tfw everyone currently trying to date you is simultaneously trying to hide (unsuccessfully) either a marriage, a child, an unhealthy fetish, or unhinged political/religious beliefs

"just take a lil nap" they said "you'll feel better" they said me, 17 hours later:

Had no idea Shinichiro Sato from The Pillows died :/ That band literally gave life to FLCL and defined its tone R.I.P. and R.O.S.S., legend (Ride On Shooting Star)

how all my tarot readings from @Yandreaya end

no i can't have sex with you right now i have to stare at the steam store until resident evil requiem comes out in 14hrs

had a dream i was in a late 2000s porn parody called fuck fuck revolution where you just pound the other person into a big, colored pressure pad to the rhythm of a song and for my first scene, i had to do "bleed" by meshuggah

so vampire: the masquerade - bloodlines 2 is pretty much exactly what i was hoping it WOULDN'T be i've been waiting since Oct 2015 for this?? goddammit, Paradox god. fucking. dammit.

of all the things i could've unintentionally said within earshot of my cousin's hot friend, it had to be "that was year's ago, when i couldn't keep my dick out of crazy to save my life"

no i can't have sex with you right now i'm listening to the new deftones single

I was such a clean and virtuous boy before this youtube algorithm ASSAULTED me with hot Korean girl camping vids. I can't even pretend it's the sound of rainfall, luxury tents, or the cute dogs that keep bringing me back now with 20+ of these thirst trap thumbnails in my history

I'm getting Marvel Rivals shorts recommendations on YT now and it's all @Yandreaya 's fault, so here's one of Jeff getting spanked by Strange, complete with cheesy Nickelback music.

I cannot believe @PintQuart has been living a secret, heterosexual life

Damn, been a while since someone feigned interest in like 90% of my hobbies just to try and get me on their roster. A few years ago, I would've went with it, but now? It's just a big disappointment lol

I was closing my door, not wanting anymore trouble, and this malicious motherfucker comes in like

Me to the giant fly that's been repeatedly ramming into my face throughout the house and has now followed me into my room

I'll stand by this and just say SOME of yall are some depraved lil fuckfreaks and I love you. ty 🖤