Described as "cultured" in a NY Time's Bestseller. Multi-time Podcast guest. Digital Marketing & Music Business Nobody. Twitter Comedian. Home Chef.

San Francisco Bay Area
Joined February 2009
Oh, you think Abraham Lincoln’s team of rivals was cool? You should see my Teams chat.
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If the World Cup refs can wear body cams idk why cops have such a hard time with it.
Ref cam has given us some incredible content so far this World Cup 🤣
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No beers allowed in line for the Coca-Cola slide. What Bible verse can I write on my hat to protest this? #sfgiants
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You know your DoorDash driver is micro dosing your French fries.
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“It take all kinds.” Are we sure? It does take a lot of kinds, but I don’t really think we need all of them.
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Congrats to the @Seahawks for defeating the @NewEnglandschoolForTheBlind in today’s Super Bowl contest.
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If the Seahawks win, Mike McDonald and his son are going to have so much fun between 3 and 3:15 pm next Thursday.
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They’ve made 4 Screams that I never knew about.
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National Treasure 3: Nic Cage steals the un-redacted Epstein files.
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Theo Fightmaster (@CandlestickThrills) retweeted
The Guy Teams Were Fine Pitching To After Intentionally Walking Barry Bonds has now reached the Hall of Fame ahead of Barry Bonds
Welcome Jeff Kent to the Hall of Fame Class of 2026! He has been elected by the Contemporary Baseball Era Committee.
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Mookie Betts has now won 4 World Series in the last eight years
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Theo Fightmaster (@CandlestickThrills) retweeted
Still can’t believe the Red Sox traded Mookie Betts. Continues to get even more embarrassing
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Theo Fightmaster (@CandlestickThrills) retweeted
I’m not gonna like John Smoltz might be the worst big game color commentator in any sport, ever.
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GOOD GOD ALL MIGHTY I CANT HANDLE THIS ANYMORE
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The NFL writers are working over time on MLB
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People were quick to label game 3 a classic. But for my money, games 4 and 5 were far superior.
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