🏆 Hampshire Cup Champions, again 🥱🏆 #upthemeon

FULL TIME The final whistle goes. Pretty sure the refs called it 40 seconds early and therefore he won’t be getting paid. Pizza delivery up the pub today, check your shoulders because Ash won’t be far 🔵5-0🔴

75’ // Goal again Max is stat padding rotten here. Sonny slips him in and shirl gets his fourth. Ted is boiling over now 🔵5-0🔴

58’ // GOAL Our Albanian gaffer didn’t listen to Ted’s cries and max has got his hattrick. Call him Peter Dinklage the way he put the ball over the keeper. It’s still 0-0 lads 🔵4-0🔴

51’ // GOAL Does anyone know the record for the slowest goal ever because I think Max could have just broke it. The ball trickled over the line it at a pace so slow it wasn’t far from going backwards. ‘Take him off for his hatty’ cheers the fans (ted) 🔵3-0🔴

46’ // GOAL He’s back from the big smoke and we’re putting him in bubble wrap. Cam Jenkins finds the back of the net and does the mic drop celebration. Aura. Just before the half-time whistle blows 🔵2-0🔴

39’ // GOAL Oh. My. God. Max Davies, freekick, top left. There was footage but it’s on available on VHS tapes. Watch this space 🔵1-0🔴

25’ // CHANCE An overhit cross is brought down by max, he managed to get a shot off but the defender catches him. He complains to the ref but the fella with the whistle throttles him. That’ll teach him to respect those in charge 🔵0-0🔴

10’ // No stars today Just over 9% of the game gone and there are quite literally no stars today. Teds been called off side fifteen times, ange has put in a cross that Dan Burn would struggle to catch and syd looks like Worzel Gummidge 🔵0-0🔴

KICK OFF Apologies for the lack of information pregame. Today we play in the challenge cup today against Titchfield at 32 acres with no ref. Lou O’Brien was the first name on the team sheet, the rest are trialists. 🔵0-0🔴

You may be surprised to hear that we’ve carried on for another season. Stevie has stepped down as manager to look at train tickets. Our board have craved diversity amongst the team. For that reason we have Flo the Albanian calling orders from the sidelines this year #upthemeon

KYE HARTT DOING GODS WORK. Selsey are out the cup and baldy is 1 week closer to getting the tin tak. #pearceout #KH15 #doubleagent #SD1savespens #smelliottsgoakleeping #putthatonyourfuckingtiktok @SelseyFootballC

Good luck to our friends at @HamworthyUtdFC in the FA Vase tomorrow.

No one does it better.

FULL TIME BACK TO BACK TO BACK. The Meon FC are taking the trophy back to the pub once again. This win goes out to all those that aren’t signed on to West Totton ⚪️3-0🔵

‘90 // ADDED TIME Just the three minutes given by the fourth official until the final whistle ⚪️3-0🔵

‘83 // GOAALLLLLLL EVANNNNNNN. Absolutely mustard from our front 3. Brad puts it on a plate for Ev as he finds the bottom corner. Treeeeee zip ⚪️3-0🔵

‘75 // PITCH INVASION No that was a joke there is not a pitch invasion although West Totton did promise to run on if we were winning ⚪️2-0🔵

‘71 // BALL ROLL ROLL ROLL Evan is a one trick pony and it seems as though the tamworth defence have a fear of four legged animals with thick coats because they can’t touch him. He cuts it to cornish but the keeper saves it. That’s a SOT for the bet builder ⚪️2-0🔵

‘63 // PENALTY SAVE WAAAAAHHHHHHHH. Flori brings down a player and the pen is taken but watch this cat in the sticks. Gonna be going like a rabbit tonight ⚪️2-0🔵