Fat Ninja

"Danger" is my middle name. It used to be "Patrick," but "Fat Patrick Ninja" didn't have much going for it.

Fat Ninja is named a Finalist in the 2015 Pilot Launch Contest from Screen Craft! I told the Ninja this, and he... fb.me/7ANkEi60p

People wrote a TV pilot about me and the people at Screen Craft think it's halfway decent! I personally guarantee... fb.me/5LwTu6zrV

Here, have a cat. #WordsThatDontGetUsedEnough

Disembowel. #WordsThatDontGetUsedEnough

May the 5th be with you! #StarWarsDay #fail

@CupcakeTurd :-D indeed.

I got my haircut yesterday. My hair lady tried to cut off my #topknot, so I just cut off her entire top. Of her... fb.me/7spNncSq0

.@Modurgus I stepped on a Lego once. The Lego cried.

I made a video of my cat! #catvid #catvideo #fatninja youtu.be/ZGSwLKVUgH0?t=5s fb.me/3sgwgCqaB

I'm glad America gives you the right to bear arms. it makes me feel like less of a freak when I do a surprise... fb.me/7bHKZrQrc

.@nickweidenfeld Brethren before geishas, Nick, brethren before geishas.

#LiesEveryoneTells I'm not going to try to run away.

I'm going to come right out and say it: This. Is. Hot. fb.me/3Twr3Xha4

I am going to have a busy week cleaning up this mess... #80s #karate fb.me/1ZrNpu9RY

@Kira_Urahara I check EVERYTHING for shuriken!!

Hey everybody! It's my birthday!!! fb.me/4XG1KlCMo

Well, that escalated quickly. Even for me! Lol jk #NSA "@hombregato55: @FatNinjaSeries Euthanize the House and Senate. #WorldPeaceIn5Words"

@Kira_Urahara DEATH TO PIRATES!!!

I have a dozen unicorns. #WorldPeaceIn5Words