If you want to know my political opinions, read your Bible.

Instead of a virus, I believe we’re experiencing a famine—a famine in the land for the hearing of the word of God. And while everyone is busy wearing facemasks, at most churches today, they should be passing out earplugs.

If only people would keep social distance from heretics.

Don’t fear the virus that can kill the body; fear the sin that kills both the body and the soul.

Well, shucks. Nobody wished *ME* a happy birthday today...

We left?

If you run out of Charmin, use NT Wright’s books.

It seems that all the Twitter celebs are stock-piling virtue today.

Who’s expositing who here?! xitter.cf/fakelawson/status/1234…

With everyone in America quarantined, no Christian has any excuse not to read the Bible.

Everyone is telling you to wear hand sanitizer. But I’m more concerned that you put on the heart sanctifier. (Three guesses as to who He is.)

I’m tempted to put on skinny jeans and go to Starbucks just to mess with Paul Washer.

Paul Washer is stealing all my one-liners. Thankfully they’re trademarked.™️ #ShepCon2020

Last year’s ShepCon Q&A takeaway phrase was: “Go Home!” This year’s phrase will be: “Get off my lawn!” You heard it here first.

Last year John MacArthur told Beth Moore to “Go Home.” This year I told Nate Pickowicz to stay home. Glad he listened.

👀

You should be more concerned with the Hamartiavirus.

Paul never dropped out of the race set before him. Just sayin’

God created the thumb with which you retweet heretics. Repent and submit your thumb!