Fake Tim Armstrong (@FakeAOL) profile picture

Leveraging and mixing every known (and unknown) metaphor as if I'm a DJ

The center of the universe
Joined October 2011
really. I love babies. especially million dollar babies.
Fake Tim Armstrong retweeted
Powerful @HuffingtonPost front page splash on the number of gun deaths since Sandy Hook @jasoncherkis
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I'm back! (sorry for the long respit. I was busy screening dancers - if you know what I mean - for our AOL commercials!)
evil genius plan execution: BoD grants me $5m of equity if the stock appreciates 20%. Days later patent deal announced! cha-ching!!
I'm all about @aol employees first - so here goes: with fewer sr. peeps, we need fewer people for them to manage. Layoffs coming next week.
Maureen's prose - eloquently confusing any normal human being... lovely. beta.fool.com/janegenova/201…
glorious, another opp to pimp out @ariannhuff RT @nikkimacaluso @AOL launched MAKERS, initiative documenting women who make America.
guys, guys... don't worry. this is all part of my master plan. Stay the course. paidcontent.org/article/419-…
Replying to @sarahcuda
and so is another little special someone here at AOL! RT @sarahcuda in case it's not obvious: karma is a bitch.
stroke of #genius... let's make @johnfox the next CTO @aol!
This just in: @erickschonfeld just couldn't work for @AOL if Alex @Gounares wasn't going to work there. Storms out of @techcrunch offices
damn... sad about Andy Rooney. Mostly because it means @AOL just lost one more paying customer
i don't understand why everyone at @AOL says I'm a lunatic. i take my clozapine every day. @ariannhuff recommended it over alternatives
i was serious about that last tweet. @KimKardashian told me she agrees last night. (don't tell, but I get my best ideas from celebrities)
i have the perfect solution to @AOL problems: let's start shipping CD's again! We can put @ariannahuff photo on them
$PCLN beats them all! RT mkjung Which tech stock had the biggest run the last 5 years? $AMZN, $AAPL, $GOOG? ...http://bit.ly/qHQbbN
why the fuck did i come to this event... oh wait, my boss told me I had to come! yfrog.com/kgcz4fdj #gamechangers