Pinned Tweet
Whenever anyone does that thing where they can't remember a word and they look to you for help always suggest "vagina" or "potato".
aka MajorApril retweeted
Hey I remember why I left now. I'll be back for the next president you guys.
aka MajorApril retweeted
You seem to be a suitable enough disaster for me to befriend. Do you have an unreliable car and a credit card with an available balance of $17.00?
-Let's drive.
aka MajorApril retweeted
One of the best things I did for myself over the past year was set boundaries and not put up with toxic behavior of people who refused to own their shit.
I no longer have the anxiety of walking on eggshells around anyone
aka MajorApril retweeted
At 15 I had my first job at McDs. 32 years later, 2 months sober after a life of addiction, I got a job again at McDs, flipping burgers and dropping fries like I did as a teenager.
If you can work, do whatever it takes. Never let anyone shame you for taking care of your own.
aka MajorApril retweeted
Husband, sweetly, “Can I get you a drink?”
Me, just because I live in Alabama and we’ve had a hell of a week, “I can get my own damn drink and I don’t need your permission either.”
Husband, dangerously close to death, “Yet.”
aka MajorApril retweeted
Not everyone deserves your midnights, to learn about the monsters in your head, or what music saves your soul.
aka MajorApril retweeted
before depression: I want a nice stable job and a healthy work/life balance.
with depression: pay me $50 and I'll eat this stapler.
aka MajorApril retweeted
when I was a little girl I always wanted to be Sad In The Bath when I grew up. dreams come true #blessed
If the shoe fits I say "cool, new shoes". Then I fuck them up. Like everything else.
#sadbastardsunday
aka MajorApril retweeted
Cannibals were way ahead of you guys on getting toxic people out of their lives.
aka MajorApril retweeted
April says we're bringing back #SadBastardSunday so if anyone needs me, I'll drunk.
Just kidding. I know nobody needs me.
My spidey senses are tingling. Did someone say.....#sadbastardsunday ?










