"Hello Emily, what's this ". "Well Miss Phillipson, despite me only being six years old I decided to do a deep dive into the Morgan McSweeney stolen phone fiasco". "OK Emily, we'll leave it there". "Anyway, I was VERY suspicious right from the start because Mr Starmer, You, Mr Reed and all the other people who came on the telly and were asked about it all gave different dates for when it went missing and......". "Stop Emily, that's enough". "....and these dates varied by nearly a year, which is mental. And then you all gave differing accounts of what actually happened on the date you individually claimed to be the day of the theft. From my perspective as a mere six year old child this all seemed to be a bit whiffy, like when my puppy does a poo on the carpet, so I....". "THATS ENOUGH ". "....so I dug a bit deeper. Mr McSweeney gave what can only be considered to be scant details of the alleged theft when he reported it to the Police. It seems he didn't even know the location of the incident despite actually being there at the time. Now, I may only be in year 2 but I'd certainly know where I was if someone came up to me in the street and stole my ice cream so....". "Emily... bloody SHUT UP". "....so I've absolutely no idea how he didn't know where he was when his phone was snatched out of his hand. And then we move on to the "lost data". Now, Miss Phillipson as you know.....". "Now listen here you little shit, I've heard enough of this bollocks. Can someone take her away please"? "I'll continue. As you know Miss Phillipson, if someone takes your phone and won't give it back, or if it's damaged or stolen you can get a new one. It happened to my Daddy at work. He dropped his phone off some scaffolding and it wouldn't work. So THE NEXT DAY he got a new one and carried on as normal. He even had all the messages on it from my Mummy telling him she thought Mr Starmer was a twat, Lammy is thick as mince, Reeves couldn't run a burger van and you couldn't be trusted as far as anyone could throw you. It was all still there". (Miss Phillipson walks off). "But Miss Phillipson, I haven't mentioned how I believe this could all jeopardise your digital ID ambitions". "Piss off Emily, I'm not interested". "Can you or Mr Starmer tell us why we should put absolutely everything about ourselves onto our mobile phone for our "convenience" if all the data completely disappears when someone steals the phone, just like it did with Mr McSweeneys phone? Don't you think that's a bit silly"? (Miss Phillipson has left the playground).