Erica Linz

I want more friends that I don’t have to parent. #StayHome #children

“Can I see it more ‘balletic dead?” -me choreographing

I just heard a fart that sounded like a duck imitating a horse...

It’s hard to push a Noodle. (Re: motivating others)

Do animals have funny? I just realized that my dog doesn’t have a version of laughing... #beandog

A conversation with my nephews has just determined that I'm so badass my poops fight.

He’s patient zero for a smile epidemic. Contaminate freely. #bean #thedog

How to eat sleep if you are a cumulative exhaustapus. #booksidread

“Like you’re being cuddled into a torture device”. (Regarding the feel of this winch programming)

“It’s like giving cocaine to a hummingbird.” Quotes from show creation

“It’s like smacking a puppy in the nose for failing to do algebra.”

I got dad jokes on tap.

“Live in the awkward hell in which you find yourself...”. Me coaching flyers to use technique instead of momentum to rotate. #aerialheadcoach

“Water: Helps dilute the bad decisions” -@Tyrael

How many sleeps is a people supposed to eat?

“These dots are all supposed to be blue......” -me sleep talking last night

May all our industries be this clear. From video game developer’s “Oscars”: “Fuck white supremacists”

Colleague: “Don’t burn any bridges between now and then” Me, walking away: “They should make bridges less flammable.”

Things I say to myself: “He needed you to tear him a new asshole because he’s extra full of shit and required additional avenues to evacuate it. It was coming out his mouth, and let’s face it, that’s unsanitary.” #helpful #notaproblem

I prefer to think of my car not as a piece of shit, but as a veteran road warrior decorated with numerous purple hearts. I thank her for her 175623 miles of service.