He’s not getting free rent in your head anymore. Most women make the same mistake after a man wastes their time. They try to make him pay. The 2am text. The post they know he’ll see. The “accidental” run-in. Every one of those moves costs you more time. Let’s do the math. 1 hour a day thinking about him = 365 hours a year. That’s 15 full days. Gone. He got 3 years while you were together. Now he’s getting 2 weeks a year from you after he left. And he’s not even asking for them. You’re not getting over him. You’re paying his bills. So I wrote the book I wish someone had handed me: How to Make a Man Who Wasted Your Time, Pay for Wasting Your Time. The title is petty on purpose. What’s inside isn’t. No slashed tires. No ruined reputations. No screenshots to his new girlfriend. You’ll learn something worth more than revenge(Check out the table of content below). Plus the 30-Day Payback Plan, one move a day, so you stop reading about your comeback and start living it. Payback that needs him to cooperate will never come. He may never apologize. He may never regret it. He may never even get it. Payback that only needs you can start today. You don’t need more time. You need a plan for the time you have left. Get the book here stan.store/emotionscity/p/ho… That’s less than one dinner you paid for while he “got his life together.”

One thing you can always count me on is my capacity to "Exit nonsense". Once a thing, place or person is stressing the quality of my life, I will honor it with the gift of distance. When I got tired of praying for light and stable internet in Nigeria, even though I lived in Ikoyi. I packed my clothes in 2 boxes and left for the US. I got my work permit a year before I left but kept thugging it out. One day, I woke and reminded myself that it's okay to give up, or you may give up the ghost. I will always leave anything that reduces the quality of my life.

We Need to Examine How We Counsel Women in Nigerian Churches. Sometimes, we are so committed to preserving the institution of marriage that we overlook the person being harmed within it. A woman finally finds the courage to speak. She tells us she is afraid. She tells us she is being humiliated. She tells us about the threats, the control, the repeated betrayal. She tells us she no longer recognises herself. And before we ask, “Are you safe?” we ask: “What did you do?” “Have you prayed?” “Are you submitting?” “What about the children?” “Do you want to destroy your home?” She came looking for psychological safety. We handed her another burden. We need to sit with that. Not every church responds this way. There are pastors and congregations doing the difficult, compassionate work of protecting people. But where harmful counsel exists, we must stop defending it simply because it comes from a pulpit. Sometimes, our advice reveals that we do not fully see women as human beings. We see resources. Someone to cook. To give birth. To provide sex. To keep the family together. Someone to absorb everybody’s anger and still organize Sunday lunch. We ask what she contributes to the home without asking what living in that home is doing to her. A woman is a person before she is anybody’s wife. And keeping two people under one roof is not the same as keeping a family safe. Abuse can carry serious physical and emotional consequences, including depression, anxiety, trauma symptoms, chronic health problems, and increased risk of sexually transmitted infections. These are risks, not inevitable outcomes, and not evidence that a woman failed to leave soon enough. Children can also be affected by violence at home, including fear, sleep difficulties, anger, and problems concentrating. They are not “damaged children.” They are children who deserve protection and support. So, when we say, “Stay for the children,” we must also ask: “What are the children living through while she stays?” A marriage worth preserving must include the wellbeing of the people inside it. A woman is not required to sacrifice her physical safety, psychological well-being, or dignity to prove that she loves God. God did not create women to be consumed by the institutions they help sustain. Women are human beings, too. Written By, Pastor Oyinkansola Alabi

Social media is not a progress report of your life.

This made me laugh.

I like it.

How to identify a Witch.

If you live in Nigeria, your Worship centers, Schools, Organizations, Hotels, Restaurants, and other public places should have this. If you can afford it, please buy one. It is called an AED. Everyone should also learn CPR. Have a CPR date with your friends. Learn as many life-saving skills as possible. Not everytime movie date, or Netflix and chill. Sometimes CPR and chill or CPR date.

Even though I work in the mental health clinic in the US Army. I was trained on CPR. How to pack a wound. Stop / decrease bleeding and suturing. I remember the 1st time, I saw a Defilberator, it was through my friend ISAAC ONOJA. My friends and I flew him down from Abuja to teach us swimming in Lagos. The dude, came with the machine. When I asked him why, he said just incase of a cardiac arrest. I was in awe. If you haven't learned how to do CPR, pls learn it on Youtube this weekend. If you can afford a Defilberator, pls buy one and learn to use it. Then take it everywhere you go. Let's save more lives together.

I now have 4 sisters. I inherited 3. We are now 5 rich women. Before you ask, if I am inheriting brothers, yes, I am inheriting rich men. May I not inherit poverty. This sibling group is funded by nepotism.

How to make a man who wasted your time, pay for wasting your time. theemotionsdoctor.substack.c…

Resist the urge to monitor or supervise how TOLUWANISINGS family, and friends are GRIEVING. Let them cry, weep, or talk. Let them mourn how they choose to mourn. Mind your business. Ignore. Drink water and scroll away.

BEHIND THE SCENES