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♛EmMama♛

@EmmaUtters

Born & raised in East London. Up to my rolling eyeballs in other peoples toddlers

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Joined July 2010
  • Tweets28.6K
  • Following5.7K
  • Followers20.8K
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Photo by ♛EmMama♛ (@EmmaUtters)Photo by ♛EmMama♛ (@EmmaUtters)Photo by ♛EmMama♛ (@EmmaUtters)Photo by ♛EmMama♛ (@EmmaUtters)Photo by ♛EmMama♛ (@EmmaUtters)Photo by ♛EmMama♛ (@EmmaUtters)Photo by ♛EmMama♛ (@EmmaUtters)Photo by ♛EmMama♛ (@EmmaUtters)Photo by ♛EmMama♛ (@EmmaUtters)Photo by ♛EmMama♛ (@EmmaUtters)
♛EmMama♛ retweeted
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♛EmMama♛@EmmaUttersJul 2
The older I get, the more I totally understand why old people tell everyone to fuck off
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♛EmMama♛@EmmaUtters21 May 2022
I miss the good old days when we had to stay indoors for months and ignore everyone
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♛EmMama♛ retweeted
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♛EmMama♛@EmmaUtters24 May 2022
Being an adult means you have to rush to get somewhere you don’t wanna get to in the first place
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♛EmMama♛@EmmaUtters17 May 2013
It takes me about 15 hours to fully wake up in the morning
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♛EmMama♛@EmmaUttersJun 14
Sunday evening is basically the “I really don’t want to live any more” night of the week
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♛EmMama♛@EmmaUtters13 Feb 2025
Not to brag but my cat always does whatever he wants me to do
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Hear me out, brown toilet paper…
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Being unable to say “well this is fun” without sounding like you're having the worst time of your life.
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Imagine if Pancake Day was like Christmas Day and New Year’s Day - going out on a walk and shouting “Happy Pancake Day!” to everyone you pass.
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♛EmMama♛ retweeted
Ⓜ️isterD (@MisterD78UK) profile picture
Ⓜ️isterD@MisterD78UK4 Mar 2025
Welcome to your 40's: spend ten minutes looking for your glasses to give you a better chance finding your phone
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Ⓜ️isterD@MisterD78UK3 Mar 2025
They need to stop putting nonsense like "family pack" and "share size" on snack packets... I feel judged and I don't like it
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Ⓜ️isterD@MisterD78UK3 Mar 2025
Get kittens if you like the idea of mini roommates who treat everything you own like a game of Jenga
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Ever notice the bed is at it's most comfortable immediately after hitting the snooze button?
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Why does 30 minutes in bed feel like 30 seconds but 30 minutes waiting for an Amazon delivery feels like 30 years
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I'm not saying I'm Batman, but no one has ever seen us in the same room together
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KSHE95@wednesday052520 Jan 2025
Hear me out - monster truck bowling 10 cent beer night
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KSHE95@wednesday05251 Feb 2025
I never retweet myself - I'm that senile old man that absent mindfully retweets your stuff 2 or 3 times
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KSHE95@wednesday052527 Jan 2025
In my defense your honor the jury members are 12 Angry Women.
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♛EmMama♛@EmmaUtters6 Nov 2015
Plot twist: your cat is obsessed with you
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♛EmMama♛@EmmaUtters28 Jun 2024
I’m pretty sure I seized the wrong day today
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