Eleanor Gondhia

We need to solve the overcrowding crisis in A&E. I may have the solution! It came to me whilst reading my son " A squash and a squeeze" by Julia Donaldson (author of the Gruffalo) A&E Squash and a Squeeze, adapted by Rob Galloway A little old A&E, lived all by itself , with cubicles and chairs and a water jug on the shelf. A wise old health secretary heard her grumble and grouse, “There’s not enough room in my A&E house. Wise old health secretary, won’t you help me, please? My A&E house is a squash and a squeeze.” “Take in your drunk and disorderly patients” said the wise old health secretary man “Take in my drunk and disorderly patients? What a curious plan.” Kept in A&E, instead of a cell, they vomited on the rug, And flapped round the cubicle, knocking over the jug. . The little old A&E cried, “I implore? It was poky before and it’s tiny for more. My nose has a tickle and there’s no room to sneeze. My A&E house is a squash and a squeeze.” And she said, “Wise old health secretary, won’t you help me, please? My A&E house is a squash and a squeeze.” “Take in your awaiting medical bed patients,” said the wise old health secretary man. . “Take in my awaiting medical bed patients? What a curious plan.” Well, the awaiting medical bed patients pulled back the curtains and trod on the bed, ``then sat down to eat via her long term peg. The little old A&E cried, “Glory be! It was tiny before and it’s titchy for more. The drunks attacked the awaiting medical bed patients and the awaiting medical bed patients got fleas. My house is a squash and a squeeze.” And she said, “Wise old health secretary, won’t you help me, please? My A&E house is a squash and a squeeze.” “Take in your awaiting mental health bed patients ” said the wise old health secretary man. “Take in my awaiting mental health bed patients ? What a curious plan.” So she took in awaiting mental health bed patients who kept pressing the alarms in cubicle ten And raising everyone’s blood pressure again and again. The little old A&E cried, “Stop, I implore! It was titchy before and it’s teeny for more. Even the mental health patients in the cubicles agrees, My A&E house is a squash and a squeeze.” And she said, “Wise old health secretary, won’t you help me, please? My house is a squash and a squeeze.” “Open an urgent care centre,” said the wise old health secretary man . “Open an urgent care centre? What a curious plan.” Well, the urgent care centre attracted the 111 referred worried well, Whose long waits created an unpleasant waiting room smell The little old A&E cried, “Heavens alive! It was teeny before and it’s weeny for more I’m tearing my hair out, I’m down on my knees. My A&E house is a squash and a squeeze.” And she said, “Wise old health secretary , won’t you help me, please? My house is a squash and a squeeze.” “Take them all out,” said the wise old health secretary man. “But then I’ll be back where I first began.” So she persuade the police to remove the aggressive men “That’s better – at last I can sneeze again.” They opened up ward beds and she gave a jig “My A&E house is beginning to feel pretty big.” She persuaded the 111 patients to self discharge where safety would allow. “Just look at my A&E house, it’s enormous now”. “Thank you, old health secretary for saving the day, Our A&E is so big now, our staff might just stay. . There’s no need to grumble and there’s no need to grouse. There’s plenty of room in my A&E house.” And now she’s full of frolics and fiddle-de-dees. It isn’t a squash and it isn’t a squeeze. Yes, she’s full of frolics and fiddle-de-dees. It isn’t a squash or a squeeze.