Define Necessity retweeted
In just the past 2 years, Connor McDavid has:
🚫 Lost the Stanley Cup Final in Game 7
🚫 Lost the Olympic gold-medal game in OT
🚫 Lost the Stanley Cup Final in 6 games
Two Stanley Cups and an Olympic gold lost in a span of 847 days. Brutal.
Define Necessity retweeted
Nothing takes me out of a movie faster than an actor pretending to drink from an obviously empty coffee cup. PUT WATER IN IT??? I can SEE that cup weighs nothing. You’re waving a supposedly full mug around like it’s a fucking maraca. And then you take a sip of AIR? We have CGI dragons but we can’t put 3 ounces of water in a prop cup??? FUCK
How the fuck did we get brainwashed and sucked into food delivery services. Hey, pay us huge fees and we'll bring mediocre overpriced restaurant food straight to your door. Oh and by the way, it'll go from mediocre to shitty by the time you eat it
Define Necessity retweeted
NFL preseason: “Rest the starters. Someone might get turf toe.”
NBA preseason: “We need to manage their loads.”
MLB spring training: “I got a paper cut. Put me on the 10-day IL.”
NHL preseason: “Let’s fucking kill each other.”
Define Necessity retweeted
any man that supports the tate brothers or “clavicular” should be put on a watchlist
Define Necessity retweeted
Sydney Sweeney is the funniest stress test feminism has ever encountered bc I was taught that tHE PaTriArChY reduces women to their bodies, denies them individual agency and imposes rules on female sexuality based on what everyone else thinks women ought to be. Meanwhile Sydney is independently wealthy, produces her own projects, owns businesses, chooses to monetize her own sexuality, gains power from doing it and appears completely uninterested in anyone’s permission. And somehow the feminist response is thousands of women materializing to explain that her body is AcksHuAllY a collective political resource and she has a responsibility to use it in ways they approve of bc otherwise she’s “setting women back 100 years” (fucking LOL)
So congratulations ladies! You defeated the patriarchy by becoming an enormous decentralized committee of women policing another woman’s sexuality, scolding her for appealing to men and reminding her that her individual choices must remain subordinate to what is best for Women As A Class.
Perhaps the funniest part is that the men supposedly enforcing this grand patriarchal system are mostly standing off to the side like “Sydney seems great, let her cook” while the Feminist Liberation Committee is furiously drafting new regulations for what she’s allowed to do with her own gigantic knockers.
Incredible operation. You guys are fucking killing it. Extremely boss babe. Very liberation. No notes.
Define Necessity retweeted
When people go to an ED Sheeran concert, do they actually think it through before they go? Do they realize they're going to have to spend like two hours listening to...Ed Sheeran?
Define Necessity retweeted
This is a rare photo of Donald Trump from 1934, helping Albert Einstein finish the theory of relativity. According to Trump, Einstein had been stuck for weeks.
“Very smart guy. Terrible with numbers. I looked at the board and said, Albert, put a little 2 up there. He loved it."
Define Necessity retweeted
BREAKING: During his speech today, Donald Trump recounted helping save Titanic victims: “I saved more people than anybody, many people, the best people. I said, ‘Turn left, Captain. Very simple. Very easy.’ He didn’t listen. I know icebergs. Nobody knows icebergs better than me.”
you can skip these US cities and get the canadian upgrade instead:
new york → toronto
los angeles → vancouver
chicago → montreal
seattle → calgary
boston → ottawa
san francisco → victoria
miami → halifax
same continent. less chaos. 🇨🇦
Define Necessity retweeted
Skip US beer. Canada does it better. 🇨🇦🍺
Driftwood (Victoria, BC)
Big Rock (Calgary, AB)
Great Western (Saskatoon, SK)
Half Pints (Winnipeg, MB)
Creemore Springs (Creemore, ON)
Bellwoods Brewery (Toronto, ON)
Dieu du Ciel! (Montreal, QC)
Moosehead (Saint John, NB)
Gahan (Charlottetown, PEI)
Alexander Keith's (Halifax, NS)
Propeller (Halifax, NS)
Quidi Vidi (St. John's, NL)
What's your favourite Canadian beer? 🇨🇦
My dad used to play jazz records and I wasn't open minded enough or cool enough to appreciate the music at the time. The records remain but sadly, he doesn't. I appreciate that music now but I sure wish I had been cool enough to appreciate it when he was still here 🎵




















