Drewmula

This is the last tweet I’m sharing about my post yesterday… There’s a reason why most of the anger I faced was from a certain type of man. If we regard marriage as an achievement even when it’s an unhappy, unhealthy, or abusive marriage, then it reduces the chance of women leaving. And increases the chance of women settling. As long as marriage is regarded as a symbol of status, and the ultimate ‘end goal’, then people will stay in marriages even when the marriage no longer serves them. Certain men want women to put the status of marriage before their experience in the marriage, because that’s how we end up excusing bad behaviour - “he mistreats me but at least I’m married”. It’s not a healthy mindset to have. The end goal is surely a healthy relationship? People place the status of marriage before their individual experience, and it’s something we need to unlearn (some communities more than others). Don’t get me wrong - marriage is a beautiful thing when it’s healthy and joyous (as I’ve stated for the millionth time). Being happy and proud of your relationship is perfectly normal. Desiring companionship is perfectly normal. Your relationship should be fulfilling to you. And when you and your partner put in the mutual effort to make that a reality, that’s certainly a wonderful achievement. Simply marrying for marriage status sake, just to say you’re married though? It’s a trap, and I stand by that.