My son, Tiffin, has a fundraiser at school. If you would like to donate anything, from a penny to one million dollars, click in the link below to do so. Thank you from my eight year old.
app.pledge-drive.net/Partici…
How does @mariolopezviva not have a street named after him in L.A.? He’s a SoCal native, Mexican American, and crushing it in show biz for the last thirty years?!! Okay, maybe I just really want to tell my Uber driver that I’m on Mario Lopez.
My 7th month old Bulldog just took a shit on my side of the bed, so I feel it’s not too late to change his name to Amber Heard.
She’s a ten, but she constantly has to reset the passwords to all of your online accounts because she never writes them down.
After watching a Lil Nas X music video, it’s more like Lil Nah X.
#VMAs
I’ve never seen a giant marshmallow wear an all green track suit. The marshmallow must be Arminian.
#VMAs.
What is happening at the VMA’s? I’m watching a giant marshmallow play bass. Where is a campfire when you need one?
Taylor Swift won a VMA for best long form music video which is only 21 minutes shorter than her shortest flight on her private jet.
Cursive handwriting is so obsolete that, soon, the only people who will be able to read or write in it will be tattoo artist.
I personally know two different people who’ve given Tedx Talks. This has caused me to lose a great deal of respect for Tedx Talks.
Pro-lifers have a failed argument. When they say,”it’s a baby”, they don’t realize how many people hate babies.
San Francisco peeps. I’m at the @punchlinesf all this week. Get tickets asap at punchlinecomedyclub.com//
It’s interesting that when so many people have moved out poverty due to Covid relief funds, it literally triggers a recession. So a healthy economy is when poor people stay poor?
R. Kelly sentenced to thirty years in prison because there is definitely something wrong with a little bump and grind.
After rewatching Ferris Bueller’s Day Off as a grown adult, I’m pretty sure Ferries Bueller suffers from a personality disorder.


