Stand-Up Comedian • Chef • DJ
Riverside, CA
Joined February 2009
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Don Hefty retweeted
My GF is sad b/c her son moved out.
Me: He’ll be fine. He’s in a gated community, has around the clock security, has roommates & he’s in bed by 11. At least you don’t have to worry about him not eating.
GF: 🤬 he’s in prison
#TacoTuesday
#truestory
#SorryNotSorry
Fuckin neighbors truck just ROARED me awake... hey buddy it’s cool if your truck is modified w all the gadgets & doHickies to make it sound like you got a bad ass engine but don’t REV that shit & peel out at 5:45 in the morning you bastard face!
Well this took a turn into darkness!!! I honestly thought this was going to be a funny compilation of videos of cats being assholes... anyone else? 🐈 — watching Don't Fuck With Cats
Is it just me or does anyone else ever lay down in bed after a long day and let out a big ol’ AHHHHHHHH??
Jan 30th @ the BREA IMPROV.... get your tickets on the link .... facebook.com/story.php?story…
Hell Yeah. MORBIUS has always been one of my favorite Spider-Man rogues turned Anti-Hero. Count me in for this ride... take my 💰 youtu.be/jLMBLuGJTsA
You know I like you but you tell me “you wish you could find a guy like me” but ok just not me. Ok cuz that makes sense 😐🤷🏻♂️
Captains log January 3rd 2020, almost the 4th... the neighbors don’t seem to be running out of fireworks. I honestly think they make them in the garage....
So I’ve been watching these Christmas movies lately & I’ve noticed that in the romantic movies when the girl finds true love at the end, it usually constitutes her cheating on her significant other. Well Merry Christmas. 🎄
And just like that January 1st is over. Only 365 days until next year, because remember this year is a leap year!
Cargo pants are still in style right? I sure hope so cuz I just bought some... For a friend of course!!
NUFF’SAID.... any art.... music, Comedy, acting, cooking, painting, dance... ect, ect..... giphy.com/gifs/KD1pfcUwBqfVn…