Cloudflare: We recorded a wall of 100+ lava lamps with cameras to generate unpredictable, maximum-entropy cryptographic seed data.
Meanwhile Certificate Authorities:
DistributedDoge retweeted
‼️ BREAKING: MediaMarkt has pulled every Ledger product from its stores and website.
A buyer says two Ledger Nano X wallets from different MediaMarkt stores had hidden LTE modules inside.
It seems like anyone holding a Ledger device should be worried, a lot. Implants keep turning up across countries and sellers.
Ledger has confirmed implants only in wallets from reseller CryptoBilis in Southeast Asia, and these wallets sent seed phrases over LTE.
I've read this post 5+ times and I increasingly have trouble with the core point.
If ECDSA breaks without warning, we have so much more to worry about than our magic internet money. Internet security as a whole is gone. SSL/TLS gone, the internet is now transparent.
Not just internet security as well - a large portion of physical security would become irrelevant too. You can't have secure digital locks if encryption is dead. You can't secure surveillance footage if the gateway it's stored on can be wiped out on a whim.
We would have much bigger problems than "your magic internet money gets stolen." The floor would drop out of the global economy.
Most importantly - the answer to transparent encryption simply cannot be "hide your magic internet money" when the internet wouldn't exist anymore. You'd be relying on this technology coming back online, and not just that, you'd be relying on the tokens you stashed away being the relevant ones when it does.
I get the ~reasonable dooming here, but if we're going to doom you have to take it to its conclusion. You're going to be much better off investing in gold or cylindrical lead if your core hypothesis is "ECDSA could be broken within months"
Today I call upon the blockchain industry to calmly begin planning for "bunker mode". My personal recommendation is to set in motion a controlled mass migration of assets to fresh addresses, i.e. addresses whose pubkeys remain hidden behind a hash.
Holders, starting with large and sophisticated ones, should consider moving the bulk of their funds to addresses that have never signed a transaction. And when they do sign one, they should also move remaining funds to a new address (possibly generated from the same seed phrase).
Don't rush. While I believe there is cause for action a rushed migration would do more harm than good. Don't panic either. Moving assets to protected addresses is a simple, preventative step which does not require new cryptography or new wallets.
IMO it is now reasonable to brace for the possibility that ECDSA breaks before qday, in the worst case in months not years. By "break" I mean fast private key recovery (e.g. in one week) on available hardware (e.g. a large GPU cluster).
Recent days have been humbling for human mathematical intuition. Long-held, unquestioned hypotheses have fallen. This includes the n log(n) bound for integer multiplication and the 3SUM conjecture. In hindsight, May's unexpected disproof of the Erdős unit distance conjecture was our warning shot.
Yesterday's OpenAI drop made it clear that mathematical superintelligence is upon us. They say there are weeks where decades happen. We are about to live through weeks where centuries of mathematical progress happen. Could our magic 64-byte ECDSA signatures be too good to be true? Was it just security through obscurity all this time?
Elliptic curves feel especially vulnerable to superintelligence. Curves carry rich structure, with room for fancy tricks like Schoof, Frobenius, pairings. (By contrast, hashes are designed to minimise algebraic structure.)
Separately, as Ewin Tang can attest, an efficient quantum algorithm sometimes foreshadows an efficient classical one. We should be open to the possibility of a classical counterpart to Shor that breaks elliptic curves and RSA at once.
Also noteworthy is the striking under-representation of cryptographic breakthroughs among the 722 mathematical results OpenAI published. I've witnessed first-hand the US government censoring academic quantum cryptanalysis results. Backroom interventionism is my base case.
I urge large, sophisticated actors to lead by example. Project11's "risq list" (bitcoin-risq-list.projecteleven[.]com) is a great tracker of exposed BTC pubkeys. Binance, Bitbank, Robinhood, Bitfinex, and Tether have an opportunity to harden their cold storage. Next month I'll address institutions in London in a live Q&A (forum.ethereuminstitutional[.]org/london-2026).
Again, please do not rush. Wallets holding under 50 BTC enjoy partial cover from "Satoshi's shield", i.e. his 20K exposed addresses that hold 50 BTC each. Load-bearing signers like oracles and L2 security councils should consider rotating ECDSA pubkeys with every signed message and/or multi-signing with a hash-based schemes like SPHINCS.
Exiting bunker mode safely will require post-AI cryptography. My inclination is to go all-in on hash-based cryptography and avoid structured mathematical assumptions entirely, whether from curves, lattices, or isogenies. A single battle-tested hash (e.g. from the SHA or BLAKE families) yields plausible post-AI security.
The Ethereum roadmap on strawmap[.]org fully embraces hash-based cryptography with end-to-end formal verification as a response to the quantum threat. Those timelines must now be revisited and accelerated in light of mathematical superintelligence. I'll be pushing for maximum defensive acceleration.
frontier model → tor → zk payments → local model → vitalik: “eat 1.6g/kg protein, lift 3x/week, get 8 hours of sleep”
Doing a bit of a self-experiment.
Goal: use my personal health and travel data to provide personalized diet and exercise recommendations for me, using frontier models but in a way that avoids leaking to them any private information.
Strategy: use a local model (Qwen 3.8 Flash Next) to orchestrate, and use powerful remote models as a tool call to benefit from higher-level thinking and knowledge that the local model does not have.
Three-layer approach to privacy:
Avoid leaking personally identifiable information, or leaking my identity through writing style -> local model writes the queries to the frontier model, not me
Avoid leaking who I am through the payment channel -> zkAPI
Avoid leaking who I am through networking / IP -> Tor
You need all three (and finally we have all three, at least to some extent)
A skill file teaches the local model when and how to construct minimally-data-revealing requests to remote models. Use zkAPI-wrapped-with-Tor as a CLI tool.
And everything works! I got the recommendations back, info from frontier models helped to improve them.
Main deficiencies:
* Tor is really not optimized for request-by-request de-linking, which is the only form of network-layer privacy that really makes sense in today's world (long-running identifiers are too fragile). Probably not private enough, and latency 10-100x higher than it could be, at the same time.
* The skill file's request construction strategies are definitely far from optimal.
* Qwen 3.8 Flash Next is still too slow for comfort. It's comfortably running at 20-30 TPS, but it would only really start to feel fast at 100+
* There is a tradeoff: the more careful you are about what data you give to a remote model, the less it can help you
github.com/ethereum/zkapi/pu…
DistributedDoge retweeted
cope. seethe. rage
Welcome to the finale
I partnered with the Wall Street Journal to release this article
Probably the single worst hit piece ever written about @Kalshi
Guess people will think twice before insulting me in public again
wsj.com/finance/currencies/5…
DistributedDoge retweeted
“We want evaluators more independent than METR!”
*monkey’s paw curls*
We’re partnering with Accenture on independent evaluation of frontier AI—part of our recent commitment to embed evaluators at Anthropic. Both we and Accenture expect to invest at least $1 billion to build capacity in this area over the next five years. anthropic.com/news/accenture…
Readers added context they thought people might want to know
Anthropic presents this as an "independent evaluation" but will directly fund Accenture's work and has a prior commercial partnership deploying its models, including training ~30,000 Accenture professionals on Claude.
anthropic.com/news/accenture…
anthropic.com/news/anthropic…
DistributedDoge retweeted
“no one is forcing anyone to code with ai”
if you want to be competitive on job market you need to embrace agentic coding. otherwise you are 10x less productive. just a reality.
DistributedDoge retweeted
👨🍳 cooking on that blood wallet form factor
👀 @z0r0zzz what do you think of something like:
DistributedDoge retweeted
anthropic interviewer: where do you see yourself in 5 years
me, grinning ambitiously: extinct
first they came for the software developers, and i did not speak out - because i didn't identify as a software developer
then they came for the mathematicians, and i did not speak out - because i didn't identify as a mathematician
then they came for being really good at beat saber - and there was no one left to speak for me
DistributedDoge retweeted
UPDATE:
@WalletChan_ now warns against address poisoning attacks ✅
new skill unlock: learn how {zSwap} runs 100% onchain
Replying to @etherscan
Let's try out this skill on a real contract and learn how this DEX runs 100% onchain:
xitter.cf/z0r0zzz/status/2088272…
You get a full report with overview, contract identity, how it works, a code map, the key functions, and where it is uncertain 📝
DistributedDoge retweeted
I cannot stand when people like Hunter Biden come and make a mockery of our industry and siphon liquidity and mindshare from serious projects like boner and fatcoin and bike tyson
DistributedDoge retweeted
It's kinda funny that Ethereum agrees on shipping native account abstraction, the hype news aggregators post it as "users will be able to pay for gas with stablecoins" and a bunch of accounts panic about what does it mean for eth.
DistributedDoge retweeted
Over 95% of people trading on FOMO have lost money or made almost nothing since Robinhood Chain went live.
Out of 375,740 users, only 229 made more than $10,000
That’s 0.06%
Memecoin trading is a casino.







































