Me: can keep track of a whole county worth of officers, fire trucks, and ambulances and what they’re doing Also me: can’t remember where I put my phone down at 30 seconds ago

When you pay $123/month for Hulu for it to go down during playoff baseball 🙂🙂

Only thing getting me through work lately is that @CleGuardians baseball comes back soon and in 51 days we get to go DC to watch them play 🙃

I now have 2 hot single blonde friends that need dates to my wedding in October cause men ain’t shit 🫠

🆘 🆘 🆘 🆘🆘🆘 My hot blonde friend needs a date to my wedding in October 🆘🆘🆘🆘🆘🆘🆘

This is the only app my SIL doesn’t follow / know I have an account on. So y’all LOOK WHAT I GOT HER AND MY NIECE FOR CHRISTMAS I AM SCREAMING IT’S SO CUTE

Did shop with a cop last Saturday with my fiancé and I’m not ashamed to say I played with the siren in his car like an actual child 🚓😂

People really try to be slick and commit insurance fraud like I wasn’t a psycho dispatcher for over 5 years. Trust me - I WILL find out you’re lying 😇

My manager at work is already talking about trying to get me into either a mentorship role or a manger role myself 🙆🏼‍♀️

If you live in Florida now is a real good time to make sure you have full coverage on them vehicles 😅

It’s fall y’all 🤠

Y’all I ordered my wedding dress 7 months ago and it’s still not in yet. Thank god my wedding is a year away still or I’d be STRESSED

Okay hear me out. Coffee + scoop of mocha flavored protein powder + mocha skinny syrup. Over iced. Amazing protein coffee 🤤

Interview today to move places within my company 👏🏼

I feel like my manager is just as petty as I am. We have this point system to “recognize” each other at work and this sasshole gave me points and said “for doing other people’s work” Bruh everyone can see that 💀💀

I want sweet potato fries ☹️

Instead of calling someone 5 times in less than a 2 minute span how about you leave a voicemail 🙄