Roll that beautiful bean footage!

If there is ever an emergency on a plane, run to back for help. That’s where all the military members are and they’ve been seated there the longest praying for a moment like this

The lord really did his thing when he created Taco Bell

So when are we all gonna sue Lyft? bc how am I paying an xtra $3–$4 for “Priority Pickup” bc my driver is 4 min away… only for Lyft to tell me they’re actually 11 minutes away??? WHAT DID I PAY EXTRA FOR??? 😭 And I KNOW I’m not the only one this keeps happening to

This week’s gLee episode would’ve hit so hard 🕊️ #Dolly

Anna Nicole Smith would have loved OnlyFans and Ozempic 😢

If it ain’t like the Empire State Building couple I don’t want it!

Paraguay’s goalie is like not that good. And I, an expert at catching balls 🌈, volunteer to take his place. #FIFA

First time I can say the National Anthem made me wet 😍💦🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

I’m only interested in farm-to-table food if it comes from Pepperidge Farm

I know nothing about the Kentucky Derby but I hope both teams have fun!

One of my favorite posts ever was an acquaintance of mine who just got a rhinoplasty in the hype of Ariana Grande’s 7 Rings, and he posted “you like..my nose?..gee thanks, just bought it”

My gpt hates to me coming

Got 2 more Hilary Duff tix today. kms postponed

Love the Oxford comma. Hate the Oxford shoe.

So we’re not gonna talk about his Squidward feet?

Someone just asked me “whats your plan If you don’t find a boyfriend by 40” kms back on the calendar