👑 🦭31 - 🌊FF14 Boss Enjoyer. - I am living life

Eorzea as of late.
Joined October 2020
Guys. I'm listening to more Korean TV shows, and they keep using sound effects from League of Legends for completely non related moments. I perk up every time I hear it. I am cooked...
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Brothers Karamazov was Einstein’s favorite novel, a verdict he shared with Freud, Hillary Clinton, and Murakami. Dostoyevsky was Pope Francis’s favorite author. Indeed, he approvingly quoted Elder Zosima; perhaps an interesting case of art molding life. At the risk of betraying my relative shallowness and inferiority, I confess that I did not love it. Written in the shadow of the death of Dostoyevsky’s son (also Alyosha), and, more broadly, after a life of repeated tragedy, Karamazov attempts most of all to address the problem of evil in Christianity. Ivan presents a trenchant argument, asking how the suffering of children may possibly be explained given the existence of a supposedly benevolent God (Dostoyevsky collected real court cases for Ivan), culminating in Ivan’s famous return of the ticket. The book gives some sense for how dislocating the nineteenth century must have been. The ascendant authority of science, the spread of materialist philosophy, the doctrine of evolution, the aftermath of the French revolution and its supposedly enlightened empiricism: in Karamazov, we get the feeling that finding some kind of consilience wasn’t just an abstract philosophical challenge, but a source of intense spiritual torment. If inherited tradition is no longer an adequate basis for faith, why would we rationally cleave to an apparently irrational theology? All of this was in the air: it was only two years later that Nietzsche declared God to be dead. Perhaps demonstrating the utility of the novel as a medium, Dostoyevsky does not even attempt to solve the problem, but merely to illustrate a response, showing how individuals (Alyosha, Elder Zosima) may in the face of the inherent injustice present in the world nonetheless pursue lives of benevolence and charity: theodicy-by-example. In so doing, Dostoyevsky tacitly concedes that none of the teetering justifications expounded over the centuries can actually survive critical pressure and be defended through pure logic. Ultimately, though, I don’t find myself being fully compelled by Dostoyevsky’s characterization of the problem or his proposed solution. As another sprawling confrontation with and attempt to reconcile the problem of evil, Grossman’s Life and Fate is maybe a useful counterpoint. Unlike Karamazov, Life and Fate shows actual people confronting great wickedness. Ikonnikov, a small but important figure, is ordered to help in the construction of a gas chamber. He refuses, with full awareness of the consequences that will ensue. The Karamazovs, by contrast, live middle class lives unvisited by greater events. Ivan has money, education, and leisure; his torment is the invention of his own mind and thus a kind of self-indulgence. Even Alyosha, the novel’s most sympathetic character, is never tested. His crisis is spiritual: there is a slightly comic kerfuffle about Zosima’s noisome corpse, which challenges his faith, but no circumstance requires him to stake his life or even his comfort. Thus, a fundamental issue with Karamazov is that the problems of the book are on some level fake: they’re the self-inflicted derangements of febrile and dysregulated men. How much can or should we learn from the insane? To be charitable to Dostoyevsky, we might say that he understood the spiritual dislocation of the era that later gives rise to the larger evils of totalitarianism in the twentieth, even prefiguring them in the Grand Inquisitor. (Dostoyevsky explored this theme in greater detail a few years earlier in Demons.) Camus in 1959: “The real nineteenth century prophet was Dostoevsky, not Karl Marx.” In this interpretation, the problems in Karamazov set the stage for those in Life and Fate. Maybe. At least as a work of art, I’m not sure that this anticipation is enough to make the book stand on its own. In Karamazov, one continually wonders why the brothers don’t just pull it together. Dostoyevsky seems to transpose his own inner depths and spiritual torment onto his characters, but most people are not tortured writers, and it does not feel that the unhingedness of the characters is ever fully earned. In attempting to address evil, Grossman’s conclusion is ostensibly similar to Dostoyevsky’s: the only resolution lies in senseless kindness. For Dostoyevsky, this message is embodied in Alyosha, who represents a kind of fervent innocence. For me, however, it’s not clear that Alyosha ever fathoms the realities and extremities of evil, and hence he’s not fully persuasive: does he even reckon with the misdeeds of his brothers? Grossman is willing to engage head on. Far beyond gruesome newspaper anecdotes or neurotic and volatile siblings, Ikonnikov directly experiences the Holodomor in Ukraine and then the murders of the Jews. He has no patience for the kind of revolutionary ideas that animated Ivan’s contemporaries: “whenever we see [the dawn of an eternal good], the blood of old people and children is always shed.” Alyosha believes in the Church and is willing to set aside its failures to address suffering. The book closes on his declaration that all shall rise again. That is, Alyosha does not accept the tragedy of Ilyusha, an innocent boy’s death, but rather seeks to deny and escape it. “We shall see each other and shall tell each other with joy and gladness all that has happened.” Life and Fate flatly rejects providential resolution. The heavens may be empty, and there is no greater meaning in evil. We can simply choose (freedom the other great theme of Life and Fate) to pursue acts of charity, generosity, and comfort: “Yes, as well as this terrible Good with a capital ‘G’, there is everyday human kindness. The kindness of an old woman carrying a piece of bread to a prisoner, the kindness of a soldier allowing a wounded enemy to drink from his water-flask, the kindness of youth towards age, the kindness of a peasant hiding an old Jew in his loft. The kindness of a prison guard who risks his own liberty to pass on letters written by a prisoner not to his ideological comrades, but to his wife and mother.” These acts don’t ennoble the suffering but are instead justified on their own terms. Such altruism cannot become a catechism, as clearly lies in Alyosha’s destiny (and Karamazov was planned before Dostoyevsky's death as the first of two works); instead, our kindness must be senseless. And we should presume no salvation in adherence: Alyosha imagines a kind of sacred tutelage, but Ikonnikov is unceremoniously shot. Karamazov doesn’t show true evil, and Dostoyevsky’s solution, such as it is, involves a kind of denial, or at least evasion through metaphysics. Grossman saw it directly, and instead argues, humanistically, that we should be kind just because. — If Dostoyevsky came to his works by trying to understand and depict Russian society, they in turn became tapestries for others to understand national souls. In the aftermath of WWI, Russia was the great power defined in opposition to the West. As Germany tried to rediscover its own soul in the wreckage of defeat, it looked east to Russia, and frequently to Dostoyevsky himself. Carl Jung thought that the German people had a kind of Karamazovian quality. In particular, he believed that Christianity had disciplined them without fully transforming the impulses beneath their ostensibly civilized conduct: the “Germanic barbarian” was divided into upper and lower halves. Religion had domesticated the former while leaving the latter untamed. Waning faith consequently threatened to release forces that its authority had long restrained: “As the Christian view of the world loses its authority, the more menacingly will the ‘blond beast’ be heard prowling about in its underground prison, ready at any moment to burst out with devastating consequences. When this happens in the individual it brings about a psychological revolution, but it can also take a social form.” Dostoyevsky was reputedly invoked on a weekly basis at Max Weber’s Sunday gatherings. At the beginning of Reflections of a Nonpolitical Man, Thomas Mann’s later-repudiated 1918 nationalist polemic, he quotes approvingly Dostoyevsky’s characterization of Germany as the “protesting Western empire”, never quite adopting or feeling at home with the inheritance of Rome. In the same year, Spengler wrote Decline of the West, and explicitly perceived in Russia a youthful vigor, primitiveness, and irrationality that contrasted with the senile high culture of the German and Western worlds. In Magic Mountain, Mann later used Clavdia Chauchat to personify the seductive dangers of Eastern (i.e. Russian) illogic. Hermann Hesse declared that, for all their differences, Fyodor, Dmitri, Ivan, and Alyosha are actually all of one type; the Russian man. In them, he perceived that “the ideal of the Karamazov, primeval, Asiatic, and occult, is already beginning to consume the European soul”, which was leading to the downfall of Europe. In Hesse’s conception, the Russian man rejects inherited ethics and morals, and even beneficent Alyosha represents an “amoral impartiality.” Man is, Hesse says, halfway between animals and higher consciousness; the former restrained through the process of civilization and domestication. The Karamazovs represent the fraying of the ties. Hesse proceeds, ominously, to notice that the Germans in particular are more vulnerable than any European people to the temptations of “all those evils which one may regard in different ways, but which collectively signify the Karamazov.” While he was prescient in anticipating some of what would follow, he was in the end too sanguine in his hope that the spiritual dislocation could remain limited to that. “It is possible that the whole Downfall of Europe will play itself out only inwardly, only in the souls of a generation, only in changing the meaning of worn-out symbols, in the dis-valuation of spiritual values.” Alas! In general, it is interesting to trace the mutual obsession between Russia and Germany: how preoccupied each was with the respective supposedly corrupting influences; how urgent the question of the national soul was felt to be. Many of the analyses seem a bit contradictory—Hesse actually inverts Dostoyevsky, for whom “everything is permitted” nihilism is a Western import for which Russian Orthodoxy is the cure—but there’s a striking intensity in the attempts to apprehend. Most of all, I’m struck by how anachronistic it all feels today: a country’s writers investigating the national soul and the nation’s fate through the lens of foreign literature. Which novels or works of art do we use to understand our contemporary issues? Should we be using such works? Do they inform or do they mislead? Today, the US worries a lot about China, but this mostly manifests at the level of trade balances, AI policy, and military prowess. We don’t seem to worry much about the spiritual force of Chinese ideals, and for all of the policy fractiousness, China continues to import and absorb American culture with enthusiasm that is mostly undimmed. There is a genre of jeremiad and cultural analysis in the US that rhymes a little with early twentieth century German criticism, but it today tends to be much more clinical, hinging around PISA scores, smartphones, lower fertility, and not around higher aspirations and ideals as such. So, to what extent should there be analyses of the national soul? And to what extent should they connect with major novels and works of art?
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Top 5 seal videos of all time
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DestinySeal retweeted
ハシビロコウと仲良くなったアザラシを描きました。
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Most cyberpunk and real shit I've ever read. Go check out her writing Holy shit. For fucking free.
Many often notice how they are shaped by another within an intimate connection, yet few discuss how an individual's healthy self-expression and sense of identity can be stifled by their occupation as a second or third-order knock-on effect, especially when there is a lack of holistic alignment with the occupation but it serves a practical purpose. For example, if you've got wildness in your heart or quirky interests and you're a well-connected professional in a corporate role, its unspoken indirect norms are like an invisible slithering disease, bleeding, inching slowly, permeating, and colonising your psyche, your physical space, asserting its right to be there, using its thumb in a circular motion to rub away at the way you dress, your interests, speech, behaviour and, eventually, self-conception. Your once-exuberant wardrobe of untamed risk and release, filled with socially head-tilting pieces, is gradually replaced by echoes and extrapolations of predictable monotone expectations, or your rich interests have their dignity inaudibly stolen from them, almost robbed politely with a "please" and "thank you", their expression contained, coaxed into concealment for their own survival, because "oh, we don't do that here" is the construct mainstream society continually reflects back, until it feels familiar enough to be accepted as routine and, ultimately, internalised without even a whimper, the freedom to express handed over on a silver platter in a "free world" filled with "free speech" - according to whom? Mainstream society, to preserve itself, exerts patiently impatient external pressure on us, compressing us inwards, to raise conformity, uniformity, seeping through our outer membrane, causing many to lose their voice, both internally and externally, to lose their sense of spiritual direction, to be a flesh repeat that never asks why. Thus, to remain yourself requires constant vigilance, constant protection, constant cultivation, constant pushback, for it is true abundance to remain yourself because it does not need the vocalising of what it is to convince you of what it is, as inhaling unscrutinised and unwanted conformity poetically starves what authenticity must continually feed, the true self - because being full is not the same as being nourished. And thus, a degree of ongoing disagreeableness is required, not in an unnecessarily combative way, but one grounded in self-respect - it is the willingness to think critically, interrogate, and discern the barrage of external signals, and to give yourself the permission to just reject what you don't like so that you can remain meaningfully you, and all the future possible unexplored iterations that will be birthed through this version of you. And yet these very "soft" skills, maintaining such strong boundaries, are not openly taught to most - funny that. However, rebellion can cause contortion too, and while we do not exist in a vacuum, the pursuit of being different or edgy, avant-garde, is often measured or contrasted against the norm, therefore, being countercultural is but an inverted mirror of the culture you are resisting, a form of inverted conformity, as the culture still supplies the axis around which you locate yourself, rather than genuine autonomous self-authorship, for being so requires existing in an initially uncomfortable, chosen, unmoored-in-space-like expanse, a created incubator to muffle and chloroform noise to the extent possible, so that self-reference has the environment, and then the self-shaped ecological system necessary for its birth and development - because you cannot become yourself merely by rejecting what is not yourself. We're just famished, starving, hungry for authenticity, for realness, to the point that finding it has become an excavation, or maybe a treasure hunt, some sort of existential rogaining, because people and places that carry this energy openly and unabashedly have become so rare that there is now an unconscious desire to search for them, because many seek mirrors through which to express the authenticity lodged within themselves, clawing at their cell walls with bone-exposed, bloodied fingers. And once found, these very authentic souls are often met with admiration or jealousy, sometimes both, because many searching souls believe they cannot be this way themselves, because externalised unconscious self-resentment is often expressed towards others when agency is given away by the self, because the existence of these free spirits signals the question - why not? The embodiment of truth can relieve us of a considerable degree of psychic weight. And courage is the secret that isn't a secret once you see, because when you do, you cannot return, not truly, for there is a difference between returning and avoiding, and self-deception is a futile act when you know. But you have to know to search for it, to see solitude as a friendly conduit, to have the bravery to truly listen to that quiet still voice inside, to venture out, and to feel for what it feels like to you, because while the soul knows that seeing through the heart is the gateway to comprehending its language, the mind and the body's lower-octave expression of eros often think they know better - they want to believe they do, because it is perceived to be easier, to cost less, because it is perceived to require less self-work, yet poetically requires a degree of self-loss to live in the way that we are told to, to earn human credits in exchange for life force, in order to feed the void of not doing the self-work, because scenic routes are glamourised versions of long roads that short, difficult, uncomfortable ones undermine - how comically recursive, is it not? Oh, but don't worry, you'll be offered transient, consumable, false keys to freedom - "please do mistake this consumptive opulence for true abundance", "get your hit here", "we have the best dose", "become independent through being dependent upon this supplier of existential freedom", "return again and again for momentary relief from the very psychic confinement you have been taught to tolerate", "outsource just a little more", "spend your human credits with us", "this isn't pillaging" - because they want the cage intact to sell you the views out their window, to have you become enslaved to the very keys to their version of "freedom", because they know freedom is what makes us feel alive, because they know you've always had the true key - or better yet, never needed one. And we wonder why the sane are perceived to be insane in this inverted world, a world where freedom has become something to purchase towards, rather than practise, told and sold as a noun when it should be a verb - subtly redefined as a temporary sensation that continuous void gluttony can somehow induce into subscription permanence, rather than an accepted undulating transience that will dance with you as you dance with it, for this is the language of creatives, they understand the dialects of freedom, of liberation - that is why art capable of shifting perception feels so radical, so stark, because they shocks souls with glimpses of alternate timelines into realising just how much they've allowed themselves to contort, and it should feel this way. Thus, step through, throw away the ornamental keys, they're not needed. Express a little more, inspire those around you to do the same, let it become a ripple, then a wave, and then a movement. Do your part.
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新しいジーパンを買ったら、全然サイズが合わなかったアザラシを描きました。
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DestinySeal retweeted
ルービックキューブに挑戦するアザラシを描きました。
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It's Spheal-ical! 🔵
Is that a gigantic Poké Ball under the Las Vegas night...?! Pokémon Sleep has arrived on the Exosphere of Sphere 🎉 Join Mew on a journey through the world of Pokémon Sleep in this special video! #PokemonSleep #spherevegas
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めちゃくちゃ足が速いチーターと仲良くなったアザラシを描きました。
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DestinySeal retweeted
映画が始まる前にポップコーンを食べ終わってしまうアザラシを描きました。
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DestinySeal retweeted
ポテトチップスを食べるとき、最後の方は袋から直接食べるアザラシを描きました。
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DestinySeal retweeted
i'm in tears
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I love autism responses in the right context and timing. Fantastic. Understoodable.
Phrases can be overloaded, and based on the context, Maddie is clearly not talking about object permanence in the sense of mental model persistence but instead as a parody of the impermanence of items held in the hands of toddlers who rather persistently lose them. It would be like someone using the phrase "storage keys" around me, which I would immediately parse as cryptographic keys for decrypting a storage device when they are instead speaking literally to a key to access a storage bin or shed.
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DestinySeal retweeted
Mini blueberry mousse cakes
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The craving for coffee isn't going to go away just because she's drinking a different brand.
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That's a Bad Omens Song bruh.
Conduct an experiment: Pretend. Pretend that you’re capable of more. Pretend that you’re destined for greatness. Pretend that everything you do will work out perfectly for you, with or without your conscious effort applied. Pretend that every single thing in the universe is coordinating together for your maximal growth and enjoyment. Just pretend.
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THIS SHIT IS SO REAL. RELATABLE. (Somehow.)
seal doing astral projection
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