i’ll go anywhere for attention

the temperature should not exceed a twenty degree difference between the time i go to work and the time i get off. this is why i’m running for president

last week was hell weather. this week it’s in the 40s in the morning. idk what to wear 😭😭

this plant’s description says the flowers are bisexual. now i want to make a bisexual garden

i can get road rage while walking because tf are you doing walking side by side coming my way??? hoes this is a two person sidewalk. fucking move!

i need someone to explain to me why men seem completely incapable of watching their dick go in. like it would be much easier to find the hole if you used your fucking eyes!

i wore out my horny gremlin on mediocre dick. now she’s in the corner pouting

republicans leaders act like somebody is blackmailing them and yea i get most are pedophiles but i bet some just don’t want the world to know they got a manicure one time and they’re willing to block medicare for all over it

falling for it every time

i have never envied a mother as much as i envy this woman

i don’t know how to say i’m tight without it just sounding like casual dirty talk but ya girl is damn near vacuum sealed

him: wow i’m so sweaty. look at you. you didn’t even break a sweat yea. i threw it back a little and you told me to stop moving and came

why did this man grab my hair with the same fingers that were inside me 😭😭😭😭

i’m starting to hate squirters because does every dude assume i want them to jack hammer my pussy with their finger?? bro be gentle with me!

i’m on my phone so much at work that i was actually stoked my supervisor walked in this morning while i was actually working

3 people couldn’t figure out how to even get to the marriage license application. i want to send them away so badly

first grandpa trying to make the roster and he is such a child. so much “why don’t you text first?” “ why are you seeing other guys but won’t hang out with me?” sir how are you this old and spoiled??

all of my guinea pigs have died during a trump presidency. whoever is doing animal sacrifice to keep that man alive, count your days

new review just dropped and my pussy is still tight

going blue again

$200 later i have a shit ton of snacks but not the condoms i went to costco to get