Debbie-Ama 💗.💗.💗

I realised my baby son has so little autonomy, he makes very few choices for himself, like for example brushing his teeth twice a day. He hates it, he does everything he can to wrestle himself away from the tooth brush whenever we try to brush his teeth. He considers it a form of punishment the way he cries. It’s in moments like that, that my responsibility as a parent, and also the way God’s acts as a father become clear. Although he hates it, we brush his teeth in-spite of his protest, we don’t accept the fact that he doesn’t like it as a valid reason for not doing it. He will be grateful when he’s older and he has beautiful teeth, that his parents honoured their responsibilities towards him. I realise that’s the way God relates to us, at times taking us through difficult, uncomfortable situations that produce good fruit/outcomes in the end. We protest and cry to God, and question whether he is truly a good father but trust is needed to believe God is good in the midst of him ‘brushing our teeth’. I realise then that my role as a Dad is not to affirm every choice or decision my son makes. As he grows older of course his autonomy will increase but as a parent I have a responsibility to challenge him and offer him perspective if one day he were to to make a choice detrimental to his well-being. It seems the societal narrative around parenting is now defining good parenting as affirming the choices of our children, but children don’t have the intellectually capacity or the experience to make a lot of choices themselves. Parenting is having the courage to say no even when you limiting their autonomy causes them unhappiness or discomfort. No good parent enjoys seeing their child cry, but we make those difficult and uncomfortable choices precisely because we love our children and want the best for them.