Ezekiel 23:20
Chicago, IL
Joined June 2011
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I wanna see mo tweets like this
Mechanic: Ma’am, your rearview needs a little upgrade.
Woman: But I just upgraded it a few months ago.
Mechanic: No, ma’am. Your rearview is still bad. Can’t you see?
Woman: I can’t see it unless I’m using a mirror.
Mechanic: Excuse me, ma’am… we’re talking about the same thing, right?
Woman: Yes, papi… the rear feels okay to me.
Mechanic: Sorry, ma’am. I mean your car. It needs fixing.
Woman: Gosh… eh-eh! I’m sorry, sir. 😭
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"Sir, i will not ask you again, please DO NOT grab at my penis!"- just another day on the golf course
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"... creatures from the Black Lagoon drive like this..."
*mimics driving while cool*
"...but creatures from the White Lagoon be driving like this..."
*mimics driving like a nerd*
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Somebody just said their pronouns were "U/S/A" and i thought it was SO FUCKING COOL I STARTED CUMMING IN MY OWN ASS 🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲
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