Norm Macdonald liked something I tweeted once, but I forgot what it was. He obviously recognized my comedic genius.

Ahh just in time for Christmas...

So we're finally getting flying cars when people stink at driving on the ground. Progress.

I had a rough day and thought I had plucked my eyebrows off. But I finally looked in a mirror and have thin but normal looking black eyebrows.

Say what you want about Ai. But it doesn't get bored when I talk about the audio quality of 1986 Jimi Hendrix cds vs the audio quality 1990 Jimi Hendrix cds.

Diabetic supplies are two aisles over from the Halloween candy aisle at my drugstore.

Only three more weeks of campaign ads.

Some ghoulish looking dude just came to my door trying to give me a list of planned parenthood approved candidates. No thanks bro.

50% of the women spam bots who follow me are named Luna.

Just watching the neighborhood kids riding bikes in the wind and rain.

Well I finally watched "Once upon a time in Hollywood". And I fell asleep.

Please tell me not to make a homemade chicken pot pie.

Bear sightings in my neighborhood are way down this year. But in the rest of my town sightings are way up. I agree with bears, my neighborhood sucks.

When an attractive candidate sends you campaign mail with their photo on it.. but you're still not voting for them.

Me dealing with a sociopathic person:

I sure hope lots of chestnuts don't mean a bad winter, because they're falling all over my neighborhood.

Well it's Sunday. I'm gonna go buy a big thick Sunday paper with color comic strips, coupons and a magazine. Oh right that doesn't exist anymore.

This movie is kinda boring...but Isabella Rossellini is in it.