Since the demise of my mother, I just have to be honest with you all… nothing has really made sense to me anymore. 💔 I’ve been trying my best to find happiness, to keep pushing, to laugh, to show up, and to act like everything is okay. But deep down, there’s a part of me that feels incomplete, a void that nothing and nobody seems to be able to fill. I try so hard to be “Omo lile,” to be strong, to keep moving, and not let life get the best of me. But the truth is, no matter how hard I try to distract myself, the reality of losing my mum keeps finding its way back to me, in ways I can’t even explain. Sometimes, it hits me when I least expect it. Sometimes, it’s the smallest things that remind me of her. And sometimes, I don’t even know what I’m feeling; I just know that something doesn’t feel right. Tbh, everything irritates me lately. My mood changes, I get overwhelmed easily, and there are moments when I just want to scream at the top of my lungs because I’m tired of pretending to be okay when, deep down, I’m still trying to figure out how to live with this pain. 😭😭 AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! The hardest part is that the world keeps moving, everybody keeps living their lives, and life expects you to keep going too. But nobody really prepares you for what it feels like to lose your mother, the one person whose presence means so much, the one you wish you could call, talk to, or just see one more time. I know healing takes time, and I’m trying. God knows I’m trying. But some days are harder than others, and today, I just needed to let it out. I miss my mum. I miss the peace I had before this pain. I miss the version of myself that existed before I had to learn how to live without her. If you’ve lost someone who meant the world to you, you probably understand that grief isn’t something you simply get over. You just learn to carry it, even on days when it feels too heavy. For now, I’m taking it one day at a time. Some days, I’ll smile. Some days, I’ll struggle. And some days, I might not even have the strength to explain what’s wrong. Please, if you see me trying, be patient with me. I’m still finding my way back to myself. 🕊️🤍

Happy New Month To His Imperial Holiness. @themaninileife The Holiest of Holies. The One who paints the very gradients of holiness, revealing dimensions of God’s purity with every word, every act, and every breath. (a yarn 🧶)