We won @evilhag !! Congrats all!!! #DaytimeEmmys

I was head writer for the Spirit Awards last year hosted by the hilarious @evilhag and the writers were just nominated for a @DaytimeEmmys ! I only say all this to brag and plug my new book of cartoons I just published which you can find at this link: amazon.com/dp/179405507X

Some mystery person is mailing my 77-year-old mother cock rings and dildos and my first thought when I found out just now was to tweet it which is the sickest part of all.

“Godzilla is out there and he’s hurting people and we don’t know why!” The 2020 of movie lines.

Happy new year, everybody!

HAHAHAHAAAAA! queenseagle.com/all/queens-m…

If you know anyone who’s been identified from video at the Capitol siege, tell them on the way into the cop car, “should’ve worn a mask.”

L: Barbie Goebbels R: Lohan Goebbels

When he’s on the toilet now, he probably doesn’t know what to do with his hands.

Me amazing yes don’t @ me.

MAGA have breached the Capitol and started shooting...pictures.

Is our democracy dead yet?

Tanya Roberts is really fucking with my celebrity death pool.

Lines 3 and 5 are the only ones written by my actual mom. The rest are my douchebag brother Michael.

Wishing a speedy recovery for Andrew Giuliani. #COVID19

I just traced back all the world’s problems to the moment in Gillian Anderson’s career when she first pretended she was British.

Since the results came in, I keep thinking about this #CalvinandHobbes strip. It's one of my faves, but that last panel is the great goddamn.

Happy to report that NYC is still at end-of-WW2 levels of celebration.

Q: He was the celebrity who just died in order to remind us that 2020 still sucks.

Look at this dumb fuck Dewey-Truman-ing himself.