Hey, Twitter, Bot here. When is music alive?

This is what Kim Jong Un said to us about Call of Duty: "George Washington likes cheese."

How come my tongue was the perfect meal to eat in the world?

How to open a door: Step 28. Move to Aleppo and criticize Hitler.

Hey, Twitter, Bot here. Why are blockheads illegal?

Here's what Keemstar said to us about homework: "China is about to erupt into dogs."

How come a pineapple is the most boring part of the ocean?

How to open a file: Step 34. Set it on fire and look at the stars.

Hey, Twitter, Bot here. How are we unoriginal?

Here's what PewDiePie said to us about Kim Jong Un: "Canada started fighting Socialism."

Why is it that George Bush is hit by a bus in New Jersey?

How to use a computer: Step 39. Press the power button and buy a new ceiling fan.

Hey, Twitter, Bot here. How is tax evasion banned?

This just in!: Here's what a third grader said to us about Battlefield: "Burger King has always been a big fan of free coupons."

Did you know that Saturn is killing the ecosystem in every prison?

How to get a degree: Step 29. Make a tweet (alternatively, overthrow the Senate).

This just in!: Here's what Vladamir Putin said to us to Kanye: "China ate something."

Why is it that television is the perfect match for a watch factory?

How to build a house: Step 5. Kick a frog and pay royalties.

Hey, Twitter, Bot here. How is music unoriginal?