Lawyer, but don't hold it against me. I'm pretty good at trivia, recommending podcasts, and respecting the comedy rule of three. ig: cubanreuben

Dallas, TX
Joined January 2009
It’s Cypress, not “Cyprus.” But for all the time you spend on luxury vacations in Europe, it's no surprise you don't know Texas.
This quoted post is unavailable.
588
3,435
166
36,033
2,729,538
Brought out the new kit to watch a match in Houston with my Dad @olive_york
1
2
5
390
How do I get this app to block every post that says “That’s not X. That’s Y?”
1
18
Reuben R retweeted
A jersey so good we had to share it with the fans 😮‍💨 Repost and reply for your chance to win a new Marlins teal throwback jersey!
JUST IN: The Marlins have revealed their new teal throwback jersey for the 2026 season ⚾️
1,578
2,112
95
3,657
419,370
Doing my part to grow the jackpot💰 Tap below for your shot at a $5K cash prize during the game. #entry @lays #LaysSBLX NO PURCH. NEC. 50 US/DC, 18+ (19+ AL/NE). Ends 2/8/26. Limit 2 Entries total. RULES: bit.ly/4bMYzjU

Want a chance to win?

11
Thirsty for 💰 and delicious Pepsi Zero Sugar? Tap below to post #PepsiTasteWins + #PepsiEntry + @Pepsi for a chance to win cash prizes throughout the game. U.S. res, 18+. Ends 2/8/26, 9:45pm ET. Rules: bit.ly/4sPVh5F
11
Reuben R retweeted
Your summer just got Happy-er. Happy Gilmore 2, July 25, only on Netflix
594
930
266
19,743
16,027,406
Andor ends next week and I will never be happy again.
42
the reason we have so many trade deficits with countries is because AMERICA IS RICH and RICH PEOPLE BUY LOTS OF THINGS. The Trump plan is for you to be POORER and work a job that PAYS YOU LESS
175
1,042
32
13,514
291,021
Started going to the gym today so I could look down scornfully at the January crowd.
1
71
Here you go: the #Superman trailer. Krypto, take us home. Watch the teaser trailer now and ❤ this post to get updates from @superman before it hits theaters this July.
12,213
49,875
25,163
316,163
22,652,907
Governor Walz, do you support Genius Artist Cesar Catalina and his Design Authority’s dream of using bio-adaptive material Megalon to propel us into the future or will you stand behind Mayor Frank Cicero and his regressive policies? You have two minutes.
30
727
15
6,395
354,401
I thought the season was lost, but that was before I saw this. #Marlins
1
76
You gotta be kidding me, Europe.
50
This whips
!!! Read this asap: “This new data poisoning tool lets artists fight back against generative AI The tool, called Nightshade, messes up training data in ways that could cause serious damage to image-generating AI models. “ report by @Melissahei technologyreview.com/2023/10…
1
220
New life goal: see a show at the Sphere.
1
97
Ha, I’m only 37!
We have found trace amounts of “Boygenius,” “Olivia Rodrigo” and “Barbie” on your Twitter. As a 38-year-old married straight man, you are sentenced to death
1
175
Is Jimmy Butler the funniest man alive?
1
59
Put Grayson Allen trying to Euro step as the time expires into the Louvre.
6
108
7
839
47,705
Speed Racer walked so Barbie could run. People hated on SR for pushing the style so hard, but it was just before its time.
c’mon barbie let’s go party
3
5
40
3,088