Nothing changes if nothing changes. Time to shift my mindset and pull myself out of this mental hellhole I have been in for the last 4.5 years. In that time, I have effectively been self harming. The reasons for being in this spiral are justified. It is understandable and for too long, I have been far too harsh on myself. I’ve gone through more in those 4.5yrs than many people experience in a lifetime. Some things I have been open about. Some I haven’t. However, like the Doomsday clock, I feel my personal Doomsday clock is getting very close to midnight. Things have to change. No short cuts and I need to accept that blips will happen along the way. Better food choices. More exercise. More reading. Professional psychology. Time to make it happen.

Porchetta day 4. Tasted great. Texture of the meat, great. Skin… not blistered enough. We try again!

Run away, quickly. Lucky escape.

A meal prep weekend is a productive weekend. Beef shin browned off and Bourguignon now in the oven for the next six hours. Porchetta drying ahead of cooking/freezing tomorrow.

Day 2 I’m not keen on fennel so I’ve gone for pesto and chorizo. Let’s see how it turns out. 24 hr cook is go. Finally found a use for my kettle bell as well 😂

3 day Porchetta has commenced.

😂

Today’s bake. Japanese milk rolls 🇯🇵

The extra 24 hours has made such a difference to the dough. Yesterday’s wasn’t my best but this one… wow! The crusts are like clouds.

Certainly not my best effort but for a rushed effort, tasty enough 🇮🇹

Cheese topped bread… into a fish finger butty.

As so many are interested in the new gadget, I’ll reveal. Don’t judge me though… It’s a spiral mixer for dough.

I have had three new kitchen gadgets delivered. In a first, the main one I’m actually too embarrassed to share with everyone as it is excessively over the top… even for me 😂 I’m turning comments off as you bastards will all try and guess, or bully me to disclose 😂😂😂

My shopping from Tesco and the cost. Dear god, the judgement of not getting the cheapest version of everything was crazy. Then there are the posts that said I was lying about the bags of shopping. Proper crazy crowd and then it got screen scraped and plastered on Facebook 😂

Cajun chicken rigatoni 🇮🇹

👀

The addiction is real 🇮🇹

Preach 🤲

One thing I promise… I’ll give everything to help my daughter prove people wrong. The shit she has had to deal with. Every step. I’ll be there. I’ll wipe the tears. I’ll straighten the crown. I’ll be right behind her. Proving people wrong is bloody satisfying. Go get’em ♥️

Now I have returned from my Italian adventure, a few people have asked about the accommodation. Thoroughly recommend. Two things though: You’ll need a car and to drive Bins are a bit of a hassle (3km away) That aside, outstanding. airbnb.co.uk/rooms/41561875?…