This is not a “marry into a family that loves you” conversation. This exceptionalism politics saves no one. Do you think all the families that treat widows like trash have always treated them that way? You cannot know how a family will react to a woman until the man dies. So, rather than placing the burden on women to “choose right,” we should be telling men’s families to treat their brothers’ widows and children like human beings. The onus should not be on a woman to choose the right family to marry into to avoid being mistreated in widowhood. The responsibility should be on families to stop mistreating widows.