College Humor

Celebrity Mugshots - epphany.com/site/post/397?m=…

It takes me like 4 hours just to think about starting homework.

I hate my job. My boss is Ugly but I need the money! -Sincerly everyone

I take the L and R on my headphones seriously.

I've got 99 problems and I'm not dealing with any of them

Doctor: Are you sexually active? Me: laughs hysterically makes pterodactyl noise transforms into a potato and rolls off into the sunset

"Your homework is worth 5% of your grade"... Nice, no homework.

Me + Bed = Best couple ever

Me a nerd? Haha no. I'm just making sure I don't end up working at McDonalds with you in the future.

TODAY IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I STILL DONT FEEL CHRISTMASSY QUICK SOMEONE SLAP SOME FESTIVE CHEER INTO ME

The human brain is awesome. It functions 24/7 but only stops functioning during exams...

If I have a crush on you I’m so sorry.

"Be strong." I whisper to my wifi signal.

????? s??? p??? o? ?uo?d ?no? u?n? o? ???? ?up?p no? ?? ???????

It’s called Facebook, not Boobbook. So next time try to get your face in the picture too.

when my fridge is empty so is my heart.

Don't try to understand women...women understand women and they hate each other.

If I was a teacher I would create a multiple choice test where all 30 answers are D just to fuck with the students heads.

The biggest lie I always tell myself is "I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."

i have no motivation for school anymore i’m just looking forward for summer nights and to be able to sleep in till 3pm