The score should matter enormously to the kids, and a lot less to the adults. That’s one of the hardest balances to get right in youth football. I don’t particularly like telling young players, “The score doesn’t matter.” Of course it matters to them. They’re playing a game, they want to win it, and I actually want them to care. I want them to compete, experience pressure, feel the disappointment of losing and the joy of winning. If we keep reminding them that none of it matters, I think we can accidentally strip something important out of sport. But the opposite is just as damaging, when the adults begin experiencing the competition as if they are the ones playing it, and winning becomes important enough that we start manipulating the experience just to get the result. I described it in a workshop recently as a bit of a magic trick. For the players, the world inside the game should feel completely real. They should desperately want to win, try everything they can, celebrate when they do, be annoyed when they don’t. But coaches and parents need to be on the other side of the curtain. We know it’s a game. We know a U13 result isn’t actually a catastrophe, we know losing this weekend doesn’t ruin a player’s future, and we know winning isn’t important enough to justify taking away the experiences they need in order to develop. That perspective is our responsibility, not theirs. So I don’t think the development-versus-winning debate needs to end with convincing kids that winning doesn’t matter. I think it’s about allowing competition to feel real to the player while the adults retain enough perspective not to turn it into winning at all costs. The players should get to believe in the magic. The adults have to remember how the trick works.