Go watch my new release. DPs with coach Kent Murphy. Warning: THIS IS NOT A PORNO

Plans for tomorrow: 1. Wakeup to piss excellence. 2. Eat my Cap'n Clutch. 3. Dick a few minds. 4. Tell the pitcher I will see him in hell.

Anybody have a big game tonight? RT this if you know how to give a good dicking to the pitchers mind

Gave that ball a longer ride than your mom. That's the Kent Murphy way of getting the job done. Homers are a huge asset to any players game.

Him that in here. Fire that shit in here.

What is this? They're reversing the call! Kent Murphy (me) is a hero!

Always remember to Kirk Gibson it around 2nd

Let's break this down to a fundamental stand point

Become a fatass you hit the ball farther #kentknows

Back when I played we would've got back up to shit on some fastballs after an injury like that. Damn kids are pussies nowadays #KevinWare

Last time I saw an injury that bad was when I whooped Ernie's ass for bein late

Next segment of the Americas past time I'll be breaking down is how to breakup a twin killer by sliding in spikes up to 2nd base. #GetDirty

Calling someone a stupid son of a bitch gets you far in life #trustkent

He either loves his mother dearly, or she's dead. Either way were getting that emotional pull we want here in this segment.

#MyReplyToiLoveYou of course you do? I'm a reincarnation of Babe Ruth. I'm Kent mothfuckin Murphy

You gotta dick with that pitchers mind. Make em fire it in there and knock the laces out of that ball with a screamin piss rod.

Let me break this down for you, in a fundamental standpoint.

Ernie, where the fuck are you? It's been 4 months