face on stages and phones. writer for @LastWeekTonight, previously @ProblemAreasHBO, The Big Fib on @Disneyplus, @Reductress. #WGAStrong

wherever you want it to be
Joined March 2009
happy emmys day and one year anniversary of this very cool thing!
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dr robby would have such a devastating flashback in this room
i’m at the emergency room and this is the room they put me in. i’m fucking crying what is this. this would only happen to me
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a Pixar film about the tragic afterlife of all the unique codes banks text you when you log in. the codes born so quick, their value so short, but numbers are eternal.
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If you were the inventor of Severance, you would have invented Severance.
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Happy International Day of Brands Being Weird About Women!
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getting severed but only for when i go to a co-working space
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in a way….it’s giving Princess Diana
Mark Zuckerberg celebrates his wife Priscilla Chan’s 40th birthday by dressing up as Benson Boone.
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this trade has made my husband insane. he just said it’s like trading Zendaya for Liam Neeson. I’m taking him to the doctor!!!!
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me when I used to host bus tours of New York City
Zendaya was so afraid of "peeing or s---ting" herself in her "Dune 2" suit that she stopped drinking water and suffered heatstroke. "It was very hot, and I remember thinking, ‘Oh, man, the bathrooms are so far away,’ because we had to hike to the locations. If you have to pee, you need at least 10 minutes to get out of the costumes. I was like, ‘Damn, I don’t want to drink too much water.’ I had such a fear of peeing myself or sh*tting myself, honestly, in the suit on set. One day, I didn’t drink enough and I had a heatstroke. I felt so barfy. I remember calling my mom on the bathroom floor, saying, ‘I feel terrible.’ She was like, ‘Did you drink water today?’ I said no. I thought I was being smart, but you can’t do that. So, lesson learned.” Read more here: variety.com/2025/film/news/z…
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one hug from him would heal me
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sometimes I shudder thinking about how much salmon from Guy & Gallard I existed on in my twenties
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LESLIE BIBB HIVE RISE
This quoted post is unavailable.
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TELL ‘EM TO COUNT THEIR KIDS AGAIN
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Time’s Person of the Year
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oh my god I taught him in an improv class
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wow just now seeing the news. sry. i was talking about the current front runner on The Voice this season.
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he said his biggest comedic influences were Pete Holmes and the Bunny from Unhappily Ever After
oh my god I taught him in an improv class
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Chrissy Shackelford retweeted
Spoiler: it’s because he’s miserable
The real reason Ben Affleck always looks 'miserable' trib.al/9yfFSyT
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which is why I must sing
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