Your sputum dampens the ground. As you turn your back on Oinkers, you discover that an armour-suited figure has entered behind you.

RT @Hammerfan0: FINE! If Oinkers doesnt care about you then YOU wont care about Oikers. Spit in the ground in front of him.

You hug Oinkers, and he attempts to assert dominance by struggling and butting into you until you fall over. Oinkers is a bit of a jerk.

RT @Hammerfan0: Hug that pig!

You light the room, revealing that the eyes belong to a pig that is huddled on the far side of the chamber. It’s Oinkers!

RT @Kerry_Gordon: illuminate the chamber with your magicks

Those are not actual words.

RT @themunki: "lumite cumave numow!!"

Hooked chains hang from the roof of the chamber, and shattered weapons litter the floor. A pair of green eyes glint in the darkness ahead.

RT @AndrewIconKerr: Survey the room..

After a lengthy pause, you look around the door.

You shove at the oak door. The hinges squeal like… well… you’d love to have a clever simile but your life experience is limited to pigs.

RT @AndrewIconKerr: Quietly try and open the door..

You go deeper, quietly scratching yourself, and come to a solid oak door. It is emblazoned with the words “FEAR THE SWINELORD”.

RT @ndorfin: Proceed quietly inside, while scratching at the developing rash.

You enter the middle entrance. A few dozen yards in you see messages scrawled on the walls in blood: “PIG BAD” “PIG U R DED” “HATE U PIG”.

RT @AndrewIconKerr: your swine herd instincts tell you to choose the middle path..

You are now extravagantly wealthy by swineherd standards. You may - MAY - be able to afford another pig. Perhaps put a down-payment on two.

RT @themunki: [pick up] (three gold pieces)

You flip over the stones. Things skittle away from under them.