Divorce is going up because we want emotionally engaged, supportive partners. When people say marriages used to last, that doesn't mean those marriages were happy. Today people want actual partnership. In the past marriage was for survival & convenience.

The mental health system doesn’t seek to understand human behaviors. Or to understand the nervous system and coping mechanisms. It treats people so they can continue to work. It seeks to suppress symptoms that are valid responses. We need to evolve.

THIS IS GOING VIRAL SO I WANTED TO SHARE IT HERE TOO: A bit from my past: My first job after getting my PhD was working as a therapist for people from low socioeconomic backgrounds. Almost all of them were diagnosed with depression, GAD, bipolar, or BPD. Most were highly medicated— some to a point that still sticks with me years later. As I got to know their background and lives 3 things were very clear: 1. A vast majority had been emotionally neglected, emotionally abused, or physically abused as children. 2. A vast majority had experienced domestic violence or were currently living in it. 3. Basic needs were never met. Life was an hour by hour struggle. Treatment was an attempt to allow them to get to work in most cases. To just continue to surviving. It was the start of me questioning the field I had been trained in. One that diagnoses people with disorders without taking a look at the whole picture. It began my path of holistic understanding. A person cannot be well when one unexpected bill will have them fall behind on rent. When they lay their head on a pillow and all they can think about is expenses piling up. When a bill at the grocery store is almost double what they paid last year when their income has stayed the same. An entire family unit deeply struggles within survival mode. When a job is lost. When daycare needs to be paid, but so does the light bill— what do you choose? When parents can’t even think about the emotional needs of their children because they have to figure out where their next meal is going to come from. In 1942, 10 years before the diagnostic manual of mental illness was released Maslow knew what was once just common sense: we have a hierarchy of needs. At the bottom are basic needs food and shelter. Then safety (resources, security). Then belonging (connection, friendship, intimacy.) Without three things we *will* be sick, period. I get pushback for questioning the status quo. And I’ll continue to do it. The status quo is keeping people sick. It denies their experience. And it says we should bandage people’s symptoms so they can return to the environment that made them sick. May we wake up, heal ourselves, and build conscious communities to help each other. Retweet if you feel this is true in your body 🙏