U can really be handsome for life as long as you stay lean and maintain good hygiene

“Alex, what is whyt pipo for $800?”

💯

Be present.

Being uncircumcised is crazy. I gotta peel my deek back like a shrimp just to pee.

If you talk to older black people long enough, they’re gonna invite you to their church. That’s the ultimate vibe check.

Sorry to my neighbors but yes, I’m about to run Quebec by Drake 20 more times.

Some niggas ain’t had sex since AF1s were under $100. And I can tell from their YouTube searches.

Job recruiter just asked me to rate my sales skills and I just showed him a picture of Matt Ryan in the Super Bowl

I felt like charlie Kirk seeing a black pilot watching that white DB try to cover Jeremiah smith

Remember seeing Dalvin Cook play against my college and thinking this guy is an all pro Same vibes He’s just different

People join run-clubs to network but meanwhile I’m like, “What’s your PB?”

Charisma and being a great orator sells It doesn’t matter the packaging 😭

When the cute girl at the run club asks what’s your VO2 max:

Serena Williams might be the most groundbreaking and influential athlete of all time Representation and exposure matters This is her greatest achievement

I couldn’t be a nightclub DJ. I would play “Shabang” and then “Mother I Sober” right after.

The best part about the fantasy football season is no longer having to hear anyone’s take on Iran in the group chat. If you think his wide receiver evaluations suck, wait until you hear his opinion on the war.

I’m just like Kanye I’m either saying a lot or nothing at all

My white Christian youth basketball coach picked me up for practice one time, and my brother thought he was trying to buy drugs. True story.

I miss when selling weed was illegal. I bought some weed from the dispensary and niggas tried to sell me merch.